The Free Talk Live BBS
Free Talk Live => General => Topic started by: Diogenes The Cynic on July 07, 2010, 03:44:07 AM
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Today, at the office I volunteer in, one of the ladies slipped me the number of a shadchan (matchmaker) in the hopes that I would finally get married. This isn't the first time this has happened, and it will not be the last. If history repeats itself again, I will call this woman, have an interview, and in the end, it will probably amount to nothing.
The process for even getting to a date is draining. You are first asked for your "shidduch resume" (dating profile) and after a review, you go in to the shadchan for a sit-down interview. After all this, your resume goes to the girls family, and they check your references. If they approve, you're given the girls resume, and you check her references.
I personally don't check the references because I never know what to ask. I come from a non-observant family, so my parents can't help here, so my Rebbe's wife does it for me. I have to add that I do find it uncomfortable how so many people who are not me get to decide about my future. It's discomforting. Everyone admits the system isn't optimal, but no one knows how to fix it either, so this is the way its done.
This comes up because at the age of 25, I am the only guy in my social group that is still unmarried. Like literally the only one. My friends are having kids at this point, and I feel a twinge of envy when I go over to their homes on shabbat, and spend time tossing their children into the air.
There are three reasons why not being married bothers me. The first being that the later it gets, the more limited family size will be, assuming I marry a girl around my age. The second is that this might indicate that there is something wrong with me. I don't think there is, but being unmarried this long wrecks self-confidence. The third is that I am not getting any. Damnit!
I don't know what else to say. Its pretty frustrating, and something I wanted to get off of my chest.
You're welcome to reply, but I have no idea what anyone would add to this. If you use this as an opportunity to opine on "durr durr religion r stupid cuz Dawkins said so" I'll delete you. On another thread, or at another time, I would tolerate that, but not now.
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Do you have to go through the matchmaker? What if you do online dating or go to an adult website to get laid and end up falling in love with someone who is not Jewish? Is that even an option? There has to be online dating sites for Jews, there is for Muslims. What about JDate, I'm not Jewish and have even heard of that site.
I met my first ball and chain via a hiking club, activities are a good way of meeting others, you'll already have something in common you both like. Another good way to meet potential mates (assuming they don't have to be Jewish and your not a total introvert), is through travelling, this is how I met my current partner, if you don't want to travel alone there are travel companies specifically for singles. Travelling through a developing nation is also a great way to test your ability to get along while dealing with lots of shit. I will stand by my belief that a couple who can travel together and still love each other after the trip will stay together until death do they part.
I've also found that when my friends and I have lived with partners before marriage that those marriages have lasted and are still intact - compared with the fanatics who only feel you can be together after your vows - they all happen to be divorced, I've been there and done that, not good, oh, we're married now, okay, let's move in together, nope, not a good idea, go figure. As for your friends at 25 all being married and having kids, they are not the norm, not in this day and age, you should not feel like it will not happen for you, don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. I mean, I was 30 before my first one, then 35 for my second. If I think of my 6 closet friends 4 of them are over 40 and single, only 1 of those has been married. As for kids, adopt, there are so many kids who got the shit end of the stick it ain't funny, and that's just in North America. Go over to India and see all the street kids, yes there is God awful mountains of paperwork but it's worth it.
One thing that really fucking pisses me off are people who think that you are less than them because you are not married, don't have a house, don't have kids. Ever see the movie "Happiness?" The stupid bitch who has the perfect life, well, that perfect life ain't so perfect, her husband is a child toucher, her boy jerks off all the time and at the end of the movie she kisses her dog which happens to have just licked up her boys spunk, yea, life's a fucking show and trying to be a star always puts you in the shit. You ever stop and think that maybe others put pressure on you because they want you to have the same level of misery they have? If you want to be married and have kids it will happen, just don't let it dominate your life otherwise you'll end up in a situation you don't want to be in. That happened to me at 30, a sort of, "oh fuck," if I don't do it now I will end up 80 and alone, rubbish, I rushed into something when I should have said no and it was nothing but a giant clusterfuck. Don't judge your life by what you see in others lives, they are not you and you are not them, so stop comparing, that's very hard and unfair on yourself. You're 25, you should be out there shagging everything in sight.
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Men are not generally domesticatable until 30. I sure as hell wasn't.
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You ever stop and think that maybe others put pressure on you because they want you to have the same level of misery they have? If you want to be married and have kids it will happen, just don't let it dominate your life otherwise you'll end up in a situation you don't want to be in.
Amen
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You're welcome to reply, but I have no idea what anyone would add to this. If you use this as an opportunity to opine on "durr durr religion r stupid cuz Dawkins said so" I'll delete you. On another thread, or at another time, I would tolerate that, but not now.
I won't say that, but it does seem a little odd to come to a place where most people don't share your religious rules to complain about how those rules are making your life difficult. You say your family is non-observant-- if that's the case, why bother with match-makers at all? Why not just meet women the way everyone else does-- on your own?
Religion or not, wanting to get laid is a terrible reason to get married. Who says you'll even want to have sex with the woman you marry more than once, let alone enough times to produce the litter of children you apparently desire? Being the only one of your friends who isn't married may seem odd, but at 25 you're still under the national average for when men in the United States marry: 27.8. Maybe you need to broaden your social circle to include people who won't make you feel badly for not being just like them.
Sheesh, my brother got married for the first time last year at the age of 37, and there's nothing wrong with him. He just didn't meet the woman he wanted to marry until he was 36. These things happen. However many children your friends have, getting married early often leads to divorce or at least marital strife because the people involved aren't mature enough, don't have enough experience, and don't know each other well enough to know how to make things work.
Again, I'm not going to bash religion because religion certainly isn't the only way that people construct tight little boxes made of rules that make them unhappy, and then insist on living in them. But I am going to bash the boxes:
1. Good wives can be gotten without match-makers. Most of the world does it.
2. Good people don't always get married early. Some never get married.
3. Good friends don't pressure friends to live just like they do.
4. Good marriages take work, understanding, and maturity, and should not be rushed.
Personally, I wish you would conclude that 25 is freakin' young and go out and have some great and crazy experiences in strange places with strange people before even thinking about looking for a long-term girlfriend, let alone a wife. But I doubt you will do that. So I will just suggest patience.
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Don't listen to those people Cynic. Marriage is AWSOME, I get laid all the time since I got married. The great thing about a arranged marriage is not only will you be knee deep in pussy, but every day you will get a new pleasant surprise about your spouses personality and all woman are so psychologically stable that you will never have to think for yourself or worry.
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Don't listen to those people Cynic. Marriage is AWSOME, I get laid all the time since I got married. The great thing about a arranged marriage is not only will you be knee deep in pussy, but every day you will get a new pleasant surprise about your spouses personality and all woman are so psychologically stable that you will never have to think for yourself or worry.
"knee deep in pussy." How the hell did that saying ever come about, what did they do?
Marriage can be awesome, one thing to clear though is smell, make sure you can stand each others smell - each others BO, otherwise your doomed. If your sitting with her on the sofa and she farts and burps in front of you your fine, doesn't mean you can do it though.
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I didn't feel like writing "You are just a 25 year old kid, enjoy your life for yourself, and the lady will come along sooner rather then later."
Divorced guys get the tail because we know the grass isn't green over there, and chicks want to get us, they hate to see men happy. I am one of the poor suckers that never learn. (remarried)
Me and another married guy wrote a poem well worth reading about wives. I think Mr. Cynic might find it encouraging.
http://bbs.freetalklive.com/index.php?topic=24986.30 (http://bbs.freetalklive.com/index.php?topic=24986.30)
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Embrace your homosexuality.
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so, is this a strictly 'jew'' thing ? (what the op was talking about)
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Embrace your homosexuality.
But I'm only attracted to you BonerJoe....and our wives would never understand......just let it go *sob* let it go.
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wat
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LOL. I was playing that your post was to me and I acted like you was trying to pick me up and I was rejecting you sorta like you know that movie Back broken hill or something (which Ive never seen, I watch manly films) and I thought I would be like parody Heath Ledger you know and.....O.K. the joke fell flat.
Anyway here's a weird coincidence that movie "Happiness" actually is tonight on a movie channel I have. Funny thing is I never heard of the film until this thread. Think I'll check it out.
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Would you like me to help you find a nice Jewish girl?
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The entire time while reading this I cannot stop thinking of this:
[youtube=480,385]<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gRdfX7ut8gw&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gRdfX7ut8gw&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>[/youtube]Traditiooooon!
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I'd suggest you try not to limit yourself to the "official matchmaker" stuff. Why can't you meet a nice observant girl at synagogue yourself? Of course you know I'm not a chabbadnik and do my own thing. But I doubt I'd ever subscribe to such a system. I wouldn't give up on it though, I could see myself being pleasantly surprised with it, but I think I'd rather find my own ladies myself. I also wouldn't suggest you try to rush getting married. My parents married at age 30 and had 4 kids and could have had more if they wanted to. I think that's my plan too.
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eharmony.com
match.com
tableforsixonline.com
etc etc etc
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LOL. I was playing that your post was to me and I acted like you was trying to pick me up and I was rejecting you sorta like you know that movie Back broken hill or something (which Ive never seen, I watch manly films) and I thought I would be like parody Heath Ledger you know and.....O.K. the joke fell flat.
Anyway here's a weird coincidence that movie "Happiness" actually is tonight on a movie channel I have. Funny thing is I never heard of the film until this thread. Think I'll check it out.
Well that movie sucked. :shock: Guess now I'll watch Fiddler on The Roof. :D
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LOL. I was playing that your post was to me and I acted like you was trying to pick me up and I was rejecting you sorta like you know that movie Back broken hill or something (which Ive never seen, I watch manly films) and I thought I would be like parody Heath Ledger you know and.....O.K. the joke fell flat.
Anyway here's a weird coincidence that movie "Happiness" actually is tonight on a movie channel I have. Funny thing is I never heard of the film until this thread. Think I'll check it out.
Post nudes.
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Now that would be a blatant thread jack and take away the whole Jewish matchmaking theme. Posting a sexy gentile like myself all nekid and stuff, what are you thinking? I simply won't be a part of it.
And don't forget there are a few woman that come to this BBS, I put my bod up for them to look at ...their chairs would get all soaked and husbands would get raped, you know the guy is just sitting there trying to watch the game, the usually bitchy wife would come along with that hungry look in her eye that the guy hasn't seen in months, all hot and bothered. Then the poor bastard would get a unwanted cock polishing when all he wanted to do was watch the fucking game. (ever tried to watch TV when some chick with bad timing just has to ride you? it sucks.)
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LOL. I was playing that your post was to me and I acted like you was trying to pick me up and I was rejecting you sorta like you know that movie Back broken hill or something (which Ive never seen, I watch manly films) and I thought I would be like parody Heath Ledger you know and.....O.K. the joke fell flat.
Anyway here's a weird coincidence that movie "Happiness" actually is tonight on a movie channel I have. Funny thing is I never heard of the film until this thread. Think I'll check it out.
Well that movie sucked. :shock: Guess now I'll watch Fiddler on The Roof. :D
Really, was it this one:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0147612/
I thought it was great, nice and shocking.
(http://noveltyknees.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/happiness.jpg)
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Yep. I like a lot of the actors in the film but I didn't like the film, little too dark for me.
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I havent seen all of Fiddler on the Roof, but I get the gist of it.
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I think Denis is right. I married at 30 and I've been happy. I think she has :)
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Took me a few days to figure out what bothered me about "Happiness". (spoiler alert)
What bothered me is the directors inconsistency of point. It stimulated no room for debate on the motives of the different characters, simply they were all scumbags who deserved their fate. My problem is that interesting questions for debate were so well set up but not followed through. Why did such a intellectually honest pedophile have to be a rapist, and then include the scene after the rape where the boy makes it clear he had feelings for the man? Why did the old man crave solitude then not use it when he got it, then become passively suicidal? Why didn't they follow through with the lesbian exploration they set up for the old mans wife?
It would have been a more interesting plot line (and more real life) If the boy struggled with guilt about masturbation (like every adolescent boy) gained confidence when the dad gave his brilliant advice and discussion, then became disillusioned and withdrawn after finding out the dad was a child rapist. Looking at this from my adult perspective the way the "pedophile and son" scenario played out was very cartoonish.
Simply put, I felt the director was trying to make some valid points and just ended up making a movie about life always sucking.
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Took me a few days to figure out what bothered me about "Happiness". (spoiler alert)
What bothered me is the directors inconsistency of point. It stimulated no room for debate on the motives of the different characters, simply they were all scumbags who deserved their fate. My problem is that interesting questions for debate were so well set up but not followed through. Why did such a intellectually honest pedophile have to be a rapist, and then include the scene after the rape where the boy makes it clear he had feelings for the man? Why did the old man crave solitude then not use it when he got it, then become passively suicidal? Why didn't they follow through with the lesbian exploration they set up for the old mans wife?
It would have been a more interesting plot line (and more real life) If the boy struggled with guilt about masturbation (like every adolescent boy) gained confidence when the dad gave his brilliant advice and discussion, then became disillusioned and withdrawn after finding out the dad was a child rapist. Looking at this from my adult perspective the way the "pedophile and son" scenario played out was very cartoonish.
Simply put, I felt the director was trying to make some valid points and just ended up making a movie about life always sucking.
The director of this movie is one of the very few contemporary American filmmakers who is putting together an interesting product. I saw Happiness shortly after it was released...which I guess is a pretty long time ago, now. I've also seen a couple other of his movies, and they were good, too.
His movies ...for me ...fall into the horror genre, except there is no gore or other elements that one would notice as being part of a horror picture. The director produces a strange kind of horror, and I find his movies rather difficult to watch...you never know what kind of messed up shit the director will present to the viewer.
It all seems so banal in its delivery, and yet very psychologically powerful.
I've seen the director in interviews, and the dude is a MASSIVE nerd. I get the impression that he was picked on a lot as a kid, and now makes movies, to fuck with peoples' minds, and it's like his revenge against the society.
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Yea, pube boy, if you ever get your head screwed on straight that's the type of movie I expect you to make, or someone make about your life when you finally go all rifle in a clocktowery.
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Do you have to go through the matchmaker? What if you do online dating or go to an adult website to get laid and end up falling in love with someone who is not Jewish? Is that even an option? There has to be online dating sites for Jews, there is for Muslims. What about JDate, I'm not Jewish and have even heard of that site.
I met my first ball and chain via a hiking club, activities are a good way of meeting others, you'll already have something in common you both like. Another good way to meet potential mates (assuming they don't have to be Jewish and your not a total introvert), is through travelling,
I've also found that when my friends and I have lived with partners before marriage that those marriages have lasted and are still intact - compared with the fanatics who only feel you can be together after your vows - they all happen to be divorced, I've been there and done that, not good, oh, we're married now, okay, let's move in together, nope, not a good idea, go figure.
As for your friends at 25 all being married and having kids, they are not the norm, not in this day and age, you should not feel like it will not happen for you, don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. I mean, I was 30 before my first one, then 35 for my second. If I think of my 6 closet friends 4 of them are over 40 and single, only 1 of those has been married. As for kids, adopt, there are so many kids who got the shit end of the stick it ain't funny, and that's just in North America. Go over to India and see all the street kids, yes there is God awful mountains of paperwork but it's worth it.
One thing that really fucking pisses me off are people who think that you are less than them because you are not married, don't have a house, don't have kids. Ever see the movie "Happiness?" The stupid bitch who has the perfect life, well, that perfect life ain't so perfect, her husband is a child toucher, her boy jerks off all the time and at the end of the movie she kisses her dog which happens to have just licked up her boys spunk, yea, life's a fucking show and trying to be a star always puts you in the shit. You ever stop and think that maybe others put pressure on you because they want you to have the same level of misery they have? If you want to be married and have kids it will happen, just don't let it dominate your life otherwise you'll end up in a situation you don't want to be in. That happened to me at 30, a sort of, "oh fuck," if I don't do it now I will end up 80 and alone, rubbish, I rushed into something when I should have said no and it was nothing but a giant clusterfuck. Don't judge your life by what you see in others lives, they are not you and you are not them, so stop comparing, that's very hard and unfair on yourself. You're 25, you should be out there shagging everything in sight.
I basically do have to go through a matchmaker. Every girl on my level of observance goes through one. Dating outside of that is for hooking up, and I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with. Well, flings aren't allowed, as is living with the opposite gender before marriage.
People don't put me down, but I keep getting prospects read to me. You're right that I shouldn't judge myself as compared to others tho. Very right indeed.
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Don't listen to those people Cynic. Marriage is AWSOME, I get laid all the time since I got married. The great thing about a arranged marriage is not only will you be knee deep in pussy, but every day you will get a new pleasant surprise about your spouses personality and all woman are so psychologically stable that you will never have to think for yourself or worry.
You're hilarious.
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Embrace your homosexuality.
You sound like you want me to embrace your man-pole. Not gonna happen, I'm as straight as they come.
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Embrace your homosexuality.
You sound like you want me to embrace your man-pole. Not gonna happen, I'm as straight as they come.
Whatever makes you feel better about your gayness.
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The entire time while reading this I cannot stop thinking of this:
Ugh, I wonder what other stereotypes I conjure up/conform to.
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I'd suggest you try not to limit yourself to the "official matchmaker" stuff. Why can't you meet a nice observant girl at synagogue yourself? Of course you know I'm not a chabbadnik and do my own thing. But I doubt I'd ever subscribe to such a system. I wouldn't give up on it though, I could see myself being pleasantly surprised with it, but I think I'd rather find my own ladies myself. I also wouldn't suggest you try to rush getting married. My parents married at age 30 and had 4 kids and could have had more if they wanted to. I think that's my plan too.
Quizzically enough, girls don't show up to shul here.
It was different in our parents age because it was normal for them to get married later on in life.
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I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with.
I pity the future wives of every male who says this...
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I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with.
I pity the future wives of every male who says this...
Totally agree. Spot on. It is usually what cheats say.
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Really if you are limiting yourself then that is your choice. You have deemed it important to follow this process for finding a significant other. The only way left open to expand your chances within this limiting structure is to move to another city and join a synagogue there. Miami, Silver Spring Maryland, Southern NV, and LA all have substantial Jewish populations. It might also bring in some new blood. This is if you wish to stay in the USA.
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Do you have to go through the matchmaker? What if you do online dating or go to an adult website to get laid and end up falling in love with someone who is not Jewish? Is that even an option? There has to be online dating sites for Jews, there is for Muslims. What about JDate, I'm not Jewish and have even heard of that site.
I met my first ball and chain via a hiking club, activities are a good way of meeting others, you'll already have something in common you both like. Another good way to meet potential mates (assuming they don't have to be Jewish and your not a total introvert), is through travelling,
I've also found that when my friends and I have lived with partners before marriage that those marriages have lasted and are still intact - compared with the fanatics who only feel you can be together after your vows - they all happen to be divorced, I've been there and done that, not good, oh, we're married now, okay, let's move in together, nope, not a good idea, go figure.
As for your friends at 25 all being married and having kids, they are not the norm, not in this day and age, you should not feel like it will not happen for you, don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. I mean, I was 30 before my first one, then 35 for my second. If I think of my 6 closet friends 4 of them are over 40 and single, only 1 of those has been married. As for kids, adopt, there are so many kids who got the shit end of the stick it ain't funny, and that's just in North America. Go over to India and see all the street kids, yes there is God awful mountains of paperwork but it's worth it.
One thing that really fucking pisses me off are people who think that you are less than them because you are not married, don't have a house, don't have kids. Ever see the movie "Happiness?" The stupid bitch who has the perfect life, well, that perfect life ain't so perfect, her husband is a child toucher, her boy jerks off all the time and at the end of the movie she kisses her dog which happens to have just licked up her boys spunk, yea, life's a fucking show and trying to be a star always puts you in the shit. You ever stop and think that maybe others put pressure on you because they want you to have the same level of misery they have? If you want to be married and have kids it will happen, just don't let it dominate your life otherwise you'll end up in a situation you don't want to be in. That happened to me at 30, a sort of, "oh fuck," if I don't do it now I will end up 80 and alone, rubbish, I rushed into something when I should have said no and it was nothing but a giant clusterfuck. Don't judge your life by what you see in others lives, they are not you and you are not them, so stop comparing, that's very hard and unfair on yourself. You're 25, you should be out there shagging everything in sight.
I basically do have to go through a matchmaker. Every girl on my level of observance goes through one. Dating outside of that is for hooking up, and I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with. Well, flings aren't allowed, as is living with the opposite gender before marriage.
People don't put me down, but I keep getting prospects read to me. You're right that I shouldn't judge myself as compared to others tho. Very right indeed.
If all yer religious friends are properly conforming to yer "level of observance" and are all married and all that, but you are not, then you have a problem. You mentioned how these observant girls are giving you their "resumes".....have you gone on any dates with these kosher gals? Are you rejecting them based on what their resume states, prior to even meeting them? ...cuz that's what it sounds like.
Are you paranoid that the girl and her family will reject you when they find out that yer parents don't practice the religion? Are you shy around chicks?
Do not listen to the secular advice, if it is yer thing to conform to this hardcore religion. If the religion says you should already be married, then you should already be married. Therefore, if you are not married yet, then...you have a problem.
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So, on shabbat, the family I was having dinner with asked me if I own any non-white shirts. Well no, I only wear black and white. The penguin outfit. They said if I was willing to wear non-white shirts, there was this girl (they showed me her profile) to whom they could forward my profile. Lets see how this works out.
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lol. It all rests on your clothing choice then? Wtf.
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lol. It all rests on your clothing choice then? Wtf.
Isn't that how it always works?
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Why do you only wear white shirts?
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I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with.
I pity the future wives of every male who says this...
I pity the guy. It sounds like he wants to marry a prim, joyless bitch, who will reluctantly agree to procreate in the missionary position once a year with the lights off.
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Why do you only wear white shirts?
Ill agree with anarchair that its a WTF moment for me.
Basically, its a cultural thing out here in Monsey for Yeshivish men to wear white dress shirts, and black suits. I am not Yeshivish, but I dress that way, and the cultural connotation that a white dress shirt is something this girl doesn't care for. She also wants a TV in the home, and thats not something I would want. So, she seems to be more on the left than I am, but she was described as sweet and attractive, so, if she doesnt reject my profile, its on.
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I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with.
I pity the future wives of every male who says this...
I pity the guy. It sounds like he wants to marry a prim, joyless bitch, who will reluctantly agree to procreate in the missionary position once a year with the lights off.
I don't pity people who get what they want. If a woman starts out a prim joyless bitch and the guy says "That's the one for me!" then he can live with what he chose. If she starts out vivacious, fun, and sex-loving but turns into a prim joyless bitch, then I'll have sympathy for him. But mainly, what "I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with" says is "I don't think vivacious, fun, and sex-loving women are good enough to marry, so I'll marry the prim joyless one and eventually cheat on her with the fun one because I feel unfulfilled with the marble statue I chose. "
Otherwise known as the Madonna/Whore complex, because some people are unable to wrap their minds around "good" and "good in bed" being the same person. I say "person" because women get that too sometimes, though men seem to more often.
Plus, Diogenes, it takes two people to have a fling. If a fling makes her a whore, it makes you one as well.
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I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with.
I pity the future wives of every male who says this...
I pity the guy. It sounds like he wants to marry a prim, joyless bitch, who will reluctantly agree to procreate in the missionary position once a year with the lights off.
I don't pity people who get what they want. If a woman starts out a prim joyless bitch and the guy says "That's the one for me!" then he can live with what he chose. If she starts out vivacious, fun, and sex-loving but turns into a prim joyless bitch, then I'll have sympathy for him. But mainly, what "I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with" says is "I don't think vivacious, fun, and sex-loving women are good enough to marry, so I'll marry the prim joyless one and eventually cheat on her with the fun one because I feel unfulfilled with the marble statue I chose. "
Otherwise known as the Madonna/Whore complex, because some people are unable to wrap their minds around "good" and "good in bed" being the same person. I say "person" because women get that too sometimes, though men seem to more often.
Plus, Diogenes, it takes two people to have a fling. If a fling makes her a whore, it makes you one as well.
I say "I pity the guy" because if thats what he wants, I can't imagine where he's coming from.
But then again, he and I exist in alternate universes. So everything from his desires to his beliefs is a complete mystery to me.
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I don't pity people who get what they want. If a woman starts out a prim joyless bitch and the guy says "That's the one for me!" then he can live with what he chose. If she starts out vivacious, fun, and sex-loving but turns into a prim joyless bitch, then I'll have sympathy for him. But mainly, what "I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with" says is "I don't think vivacious, fun, and sex-loving women are good enough to marry, so I'll marry the prim joyless one and eventually cheat on her with the fun one because I feel unfulfilled with the marble statue I chose. "
Otherwise known as the Madonna/Whore complex, because some people are unable to wrap their minds around "good" and "good in bed" being the same person. I say "person" because women get that too sometimes, though men seem to more often.
Plus, Diogenes, it takes two people to have a fling. If a fling makes her a whore, it makes you one as well.
Rillion, I think you're misinterpreting things here. I do want a vivacious, fun sex loving girl as much as the next guy, but it isn't proper to date girls just to get under their skirts. We date for marriage. You don't even get to get in physical contact with your spouse until the wedding night, let alone go to a private place with them.
But everyone till has physical and emotional needs to be met, and for some people, that desire is overwhelming.
EDIT: A friend of mine just got engaged tonight!
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I've read every post and I can't help but to say,
"What the FUCK?"
Is this thread meant to serve as a group therapy session to help you work through the ridiculousness of your religion?
Marry a woman you are in absolute love with and is good to/for you.
Don't marry a woman b/c some Rabbi told you she can deep throat a kosher pickle.
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I've never understood the no fornication before marriage crap. All my past and current relationships have involved sex before marriage, I just see sex as an important part of a relationship, the old saying that "it develops as you get to know one another," is a load of bullshit, you get closer and learn about each others buttons more but if the "fuck me hard," ain't there at the start i've never had it make an appearence later on. I always have thought and still think that the whole no fornication thing is a mind fuck from religion, marry someone then find out you don't sexually bond with someone, well, fuck you, to bad, you're married. It's like all the religious leaders are jealous because the only pussy they get is choir boy asshole so they are out to fuck up everyone else's life. I can't have it so neither can you. You may find love by sticking to your religion and following IMHO, all it's idiotic dictates, but will you really find the one who rocks your world? I doubt it. Growing up around Mormons I saw this kind of fanatical adherence. I'm now in my 30's and of the eight mormons I have kept in touch with, only one of them is still with the person they were set up with, the rest aren't, two left the chruch and one became a devote twit who now has 3 wives (neither one his original) and nearly 2 dozen kids, fucking idiot. It will do you good to meet a lefty Jew, maybe she'll peg you like the Jew from Weeds pegged Andy Botwin.
(http://www.peggingresource.com/images/weeds-frame-small.jpg)
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Rillion, I think you're misinterpreting things here. I do want a vivacious, fun sex loving girl as much as the next guy, but it isn't proper to date girls just to get under their skirts. We date for marriage. You don't even get to get in physical contact with your spouse until the wedding night, let alone go to a private place with them.
But everyone till has physical and emotional needs to be met, and for some people, that desire is overwhelming.
I understand that perfectly well. But if you think people who have flings are not worth marrying, then be consistent about it. "I wouldn't marry a woman I'd have a fling with" suggests that if you do have a fling (desires being overwhelming and all), it somehow wouldn't make you not worth marrying while it would her. Women have physical and emotional needs too. If she's rendered unworthy by a fling, so are you.
P.S. False dichotomy re: "dating girls just to get under their skirts" and "dating for marriage." You've left out about 95% of why most people date.
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I don't pity people who get what they want. If a woman starts out a prim joyless bitch and the guy says "That's the one for me!" then he can live with what he chose. If she starts out vivacious, fun, and sex-loving but turns into a prim joyless bitch, then I'll have sympathy for him. But mainly, what "I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with" says is "I don't think vivacious, fun, and sex-loving women are good enough to marry, so I'll marry the prim joyless one and eventually cheat on her with the fun one because I feel unfulfilled with the marble statue I chose. "
Otherwise known as the Madonna/Whore complex, because some people are unable to wrap their minds around "good" and "good in bed" being the same person. I say "person" because women get that too sometimes, though men seem to more often.
Plus, Diogenes, it takes two people to have a fling. If a fling makes her a whore, it makes you one as well.
Rillion, I think you're misinterpreting things here. I do want a vivacious, fun sex loving girl as much as the next guy, but it isn't proper to date girls just to get under their skirts. We date for marriage. You don't even get to get in physical contact with your spouse until the wedding night, let alone go to a private place with them.
But everyone till has physical and emotional needs to be met, and for some people, that desire is overwhelming.
EDIT: A friend of mine just got engaged tonight!
Are you a virgin, then? Otherwise you're expecting higher standards of your mate than of yourself...
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I don't pity people who get what they want. If a woman starts out a prim joyless bitch and the guy says "That's the one for me!" then he can live with what he chose. If she starts out vivacious, fun, and sex-loving but turns into a prim joyless bitch, then I'll have sympathy for him. But mainly, what "I wouldn't marry the type of girl I would have a fling with" says is "I don't think vivacious, fun, and sex-loving women are good enough to marry, so I'll marry the prim joyless one and eventually cheat on her with the fun one because I feel unfulfilled with the marble statue I chose. "
Otherwise known as the Madonna/Whore complex, because some people are unable to wrap their minds around "good" and "good in bed" being the same person. I say "person" because women get that too sometimes, though men seem to more often.
Plus, Diogenes, it takes two people to have a fling. If a fling makes her a whore, it makes you one as well.
Rillion, I think you're misinterpreting things here. I do want a vivacious, fun sex loving girl as much as the next guy, but it isn't proper to date girls just to get under their skirts. We date for marriage. You don't even get to get in physical contact with your spouse until the wedding night, let alone go to a private place with them.
But everyone till has physical and emotional needs to be met, and for some people, that desire is overwhelming.
EDIT: A friend of mine just got engaged tonight!
Are you a virgin, then? Otherwise you're expecting higher standards of your mate than of yourself...
What's wrong with having high standards in a mate? Even if they exceed your own?
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What's wrong with having high standards in a mate? Even if they exceed your own?
You mean other than being a hypocrite?
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Rillion, I think you're misinterpreting things here. I do want a vivacious, fun sex loving girl as much as the next guy, but it isn't proper to date girls just to get under their skirts. We date for marriage. You don't even get to get in physical contact with your spouse until the wedding night, let alone go to a private place with them.
But everyone till has physical and emotional needs to be met, and for some people, that desire is overwhelming.
I understand that perfectly well. But if you think people who have flings are not worth marrying, then be consistent about it. "I wouldn't marry a woman I'd have a fling with" suggests that if you do have a fling (desires being overwhelming and all), it somehow wouldn't make you not worth marrying while it would her. Women have physical and emotional needs too. If she's rendered unworthy by a fling, so are you.
P.S. False dichotomy re: "dating girls just to get under their skirts" and "dating for marriage." You've left out about 95% of why most people date.
I guess I was unclear. Let me rephrase this in a way you would understand. The people are fine, but its the relationship thats not worth having. I couldn't care less if my wife had a fling before, and it would be hypocritical for me to be bothered by it but no one would marry the person they had the fling with, becsuse no one who has a relationship like expects anything out of it.
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I guess I was unclear. Let me rephrase this in a way you would understand. The people are fine, but its the relationship thats not worth having. I couldn't care less if my wife had a fling before, and it would be hypocritical for me to be bothered by it but no one would marry the person they had the fling with, becsuse no one who has a relationship like expects anything out of it.
Oh boy. Have you really never heard of people who have what they entirely expected to be a fling, but it turns into a long-term committment? I don't have statistics in front of me, but I expect it's a pretty healthy number. And at no point in recorded history has failing to expect something stopped it from happening.
A fling can't be a relationship that's not worth having because if it were, it would be non-existent. Nobody would have one. But people obviously do have them, and some stay flings whereas others turn into something bigger. My relationship with my boyfriend started out as a fling-- neither of us expected much from it. But guess what? Here we are, nine years later, effectively married except that we didn't feel like asking the government's permission.
Unless you have flings exclusively with prostitutes or women you hate....you just never know. And even then I suppose you don't. Strange things happen.
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I forsee someone getting pregnant, a marriage happening so people keep face, and a lifetime of "what if?" questions. I fucking hate religion.
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I still don't understand the part about the lady who asked Dio if he would consider wearing coloured shirts so that he can get the girl, as if to say that it is extremely important to the girl that her future husband wears coloured shirts.
And then Dio says that he would consider wearing a coloured shirt, so long as a television is not allowed in the house.
I just don't get it.
What if the girl says that Dio doesn't have to wear coloured shirts, so long as she can watch TV...would that be acceptable?
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I still don't understand the part about the lady who asked Dio if he would consider wearing coloured shirts so that he can get the girl, as if to say that it is extremely important to the girl that her future husband wears coloured shirts.
And then Dio says that he would consider wearing a coloured shirt, so long as a television is not allowed in the house.
I just don't get it.
What if the girl says that Dio doesn't have to wear coloured shirts, so long as she can watch TV...would that be acceptable?
I don't understand it either.
Differences are something that gets hammered out as part of the dating process.
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Differences are something that gets hammered out as part of the dating process.
Usually, yes. But what you're describing isn't a dating process-- it's more like a negotiation between lawyers.
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Differences are something that gets hammered out as part of the dating process.
Usually, yes. But what you're describing isn't a dating process-- it's more like a negotiation between lawyers.
The oddity of the situation is not lost on me. That's one of the motivations I had in creating this thread.
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I still don't understand the part about the lady who asked Dio if he would consider wearing coloured shirts so that he can get the girl, as if to say that it is extremely important to the girl that her future husband wears coloured shirts.
And then Dio says that he would consider wearing a coloured shirt, so long as a television is not allowed in the house.
I just don't get it.
What if the girl says that Dio doesn't have to wear coloured shirts, so long as she can watch TV...would that be acceptable?
I don't understand it either.
Differences are something that gets hammered out as part of the dating process.
If the television is not allowed, maybe she'd like a little color to look at, since she's gonna be ironing fourteen of the fucking things a week.
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I still don't understand the part about the lady who asked Dio if he would consider wearing coloured shirts so that he can get the girl, as if to say that it is extremely important to the girl that her future husband wears coloured shirts.
And then Dio says that he would consider wearing a coloured shirt, so long as a television is not allowed in the house.
I just don't get it.
What if the girl says that Dio doesn't have to wear coloured shirts, so long as she can watch TV...would that be acceptable?
I don't understand it either.
Differences are something that gets hammered out as part of the dating process.
If the television is not allowed, maybe she'd like a little color to look at, since she's gonna be ironing fourteen of the fucking things a week.
LOL.
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Differences are something that gets hammered out as part of the dating process.
Usually, yes. But what you're describing isn't a dating process-- it's more like a negotiation between lawyers.
Yes, we are talking about Jewish people here, lawyers are definetly involved.
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So, the girl approved my profile, and I wont check her references because I trust the people who made the introduction. Looks like a date.
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So, the girl approved my profile, and I wont check her references because I trust the people who made the introduction. Looks like a date.
Ihulim Levaviim! Or maybe, Hatzlacha Rabbah! Not sure I think the second might only be a greeting.
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So, the girl approved my profile, and I wont check her references because I trust the people who made the introduction. Looks like a date.
Will you wear a very light blue shirt to show your willingness to compromise?
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So, the girl approved my profile, and I wont check her references because I trust the people who made the introduction. Looks like a date.
Will you wear a very light blue shirt to show your willingness to compromise?
I don't own one, but I went on the date without a hat.
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So, the girl approved my profile, and I wont check her references because I trust the people who made the introduction. Looks like a date.
Will you wear a very light blue shirt to show your willingness to compromise?
I don't own one, but I went on the date without a hat.
What (http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/31779.jpg) no hat?
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So, the girl approved my profile, and I wont check her references because I trust the people who made the introduction. Looks like a date.
Will you wear a very light blue shirt to show your willingness to compromise?
I don't own one, but I went on the date without a hat.
How'd it go? Is there a very formalized protocol for how to act on the date, in keeping with the setup process?
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So, the girl approved my profile, and I wont check her references because I trust the people who made the introduction. Looks like a date.
Will you wear a very light blue shirt to show your willingness to compromise?
I don't own one, but I went on the date without a hat.
How'd it go? Is there a very formalized protocol for how to act on the date, in keeping with the setup process?
It went ok.
There isn't a formula for a date, really. Everyone is told to act natural, but there are suggested conversation starters.
Next thing is I wait for her to get back to the person who set us up. I have butterflies in my stomach.
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Butterflies revisited. Turns out differently than I had hoped.
The woman who set us up together got a call back from the girl. She liked me, but I was "too religious" for her. C'est la vie.
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This is sad to watch.
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This is sad to watch.
Why?
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Butterflies revisited. Turns out differently than I had hoped.
The woman who set us up together got a call back from the girl. She liked me, but I was "too religious" for her. C'est la vie.
What does "too religious" mean?
Maybe it's not over, dude. Maybe she wants you to fight for her a bit. Do you like her? What does the competition look like?
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This is sad to watch.
Why?
It's like someone piercing their dick and wondering why they have to sit to pee now.
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The woman who set us up together got a call back from the girl. She liked me, but I was "too religious" for her. C'est la vie.
Was she "religious enough" for you?
Are you willing to date a non-religious Jew?
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The woman who set us up together got a call back from the girl. She liked me, but I was "too religious" for her. C'est la vie.
Was she "religious enough" for you?
Are you willing to date a non-religious Jew?
This is a good accusation. Maybe it's Dio's fault.
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Butterflies revisited. Turns out differently than I had hoped.
The woman who set us up together got a call back from the girl. She liked me, but I was "too religious" for her. C'est la vie.
What does "too religious" mean?
Maybe it's not over, dude. Maybe she wants you to fight for her a bit. Do you like her? What does the competition look like?
I'm further to the right than her. Not a big deal.
I won't fight over her. Doesn't work that way here, Richard.
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This is sad to watch.
Why?
It's like someone piercing their dick and wondering why they have to sit to pee now.
Joe, I neither want, or need your pity. I am quite happy in living my life the way I do. You might not like to have a similar lifestyle, but we're different people with different values.
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The woman who set us up together got a call back from the girl. She liked me, but I was "too religious" for her. C'est la vie.
Was she "religious enough" for you?
Are you willing to date a non-religious Jew?
No. We would be way too different.
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As much as it pains me to do so, I agree with R3. You know she doesn't like hypocrisy and strict rules, that is a handy tool.
If you can, try another meeting and show your liberty minded side and try to have fun. You might like the results, at the very least you go out and have fun.
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As much as it pains me to do so, I agree with R3. You know she doesn't like hypocrisy and strict rules, that is a handy tool.
If you can, try another meeting and show your liberty minded side and try to have fun. You might like the results, at the very least you go out and have fun.
If she is so liberal then show her this BBS.
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You shouldn't be talking politics on a first date unless she brings it up. That's something you shouldn't bring up until a few dates in and you know she likes you already.
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You shouldn't be talking politics on a first date unless she brings it up. That's something you shouldn't bring up until a few dates in and you know she likes you already.
It depends on how important politics are. I wouldn't want to wait until three dates in to find out somebody thinks Bush was a great president.
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You shouldn't be talking politics on a first date unless she brings it up. That's something you shouldn't bring up until a few dates in and you know she likes you already.
It depends on how important politics are. I wouldn't want to wait until three dates in to find out somebody thinks Bush was a great president.
Amen!
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Yeah, good God Admiral, politics are important enough to make sure things are compatible. You want to wait to find out she's a racist, or a government loving socialist, after it's to late and one is in love?
I mean sure to get laid, who cares, but we are talking mates here.
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When I said further to the right, I meant religiously, not politically.
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You shouldn't be talking politics on a first date unless she brings it up. That's something you shouldn't bring up until a few dates in and you know she likes you already.
It depends on how important politics are. I wouldn't want to wait until three dates in to find out somebody thinks Bush was a great president.
I try to avoid ideological pulpit-pounding when I meet people. Its usually not a good social lubricant. As long as I know the woman is not a cop-groupie, we can go from there.
Last chick I liked, it took me a while to figure out she was more like me than I realized. Probably a bad match. The world is just not ready for someone like me to be riding shotgun next to someone like me.
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Three of my friends at the Yeshiva just got engaged today. That brings the total of currently engaged guys to seven.
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Poor bastards. :(
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Three of my friends at the Yeshiva just got engaged today. That brings the total of currently engaged guys to seven.
No pressure. In my case, in my rather small circle of friends and acquaintences, I was the absolutely only person without a steady date, or even a date at all. For years. But I was the first to get married. You think that you might as well give up, but God has a plan, and until He wants you to get married, there's really not much you can do about it, except screw things up trying to fix things yourself; remember how Abram and Sarai tried to fulfill God's promise of an heir in their own way, and how much trouble that caused themselves, their progeny, and everyone else in the world.
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Free will, it is a bitch.
(http://www.moviepicturedb.com/pictures/08_12/1997/118971/l_118971_4e8033b1.jpg)
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lol. It all rests on your clothing choice then? Wtf.
Isn't that how it always works?
yes, for those that can't do it on sexual prowess alone :P
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Last week we had 2 marriages, 2 engagements from our group.
Does anyone want updates on my dating foibles, or should I let the thread die?
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Your thread is interesting to me because it gives insight to your culture. Interesting thread but I think you will always get the advice, "lighten up." from the general libertarian crowd here.
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I will go with my original advice. Go to another large city with a significant similar population and search there for some time. It might mean taking an sabbatical or extended leave. Go there get a temp job and find a matchmaker. If you find the right woman you might stay and settle there or she might be open to moving back to your home city. Or even possibly another section of the city you currently live in another group which your matchmaker isn't pulling from. This is if your current search hasn't already gone city wide.
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So, I had a sit-down interview with a matchmaker last night, and I can only hope I made a favorable impression. Went to her house at night, talked about what I like to see in girls. She had a few in mind for me before I showed up, but narrowed it down to one by the end of the night.
Another matchmaker I am going through called me about a girl she had in mind. A funny thing happened during the conversation.
She gave me a call back after a long talk we had about backgrounds, education level, etc. that same night. She said that the family of the girl might recognize me if I ate by their house once. To confirm, the matchmaker asked me what my father did for a living.
I wasn't born yesterday. The family (and most likely NOT the girl) wanted to know the socioeconomic background of my family, and they pressed this sweet lady to ask a question she, in all likelihood did not want to ask.
So, what she does is think of a way to disguise the question so that I would in effect answer something else, none the wiser. She probably figures out I know why she asked, because without a pause, I answer back "what did they say my father does for a living?"
Mental fucking jujitsu!
She says "they didn't say"
So, I answer her question. Now they know, but they also know I know what they wanted to know.
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dude.
just go to a fucking whorehouse already.
fuck sakes.
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matchmakers take themselves too seriously anyway..............
(http://www.thisdoesnotconcernyou.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/fail-owned-eharmony-online-dating-fail.jpg)
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Went on a date, and did the most stereotypical thing ever. Talked in the lobby of a hotel. Pleasant girl. Hope I made a good impression.
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Went on a date, and did the most stereotypical thing ever. Talked in the lobby of a hotel. Pleasant girl. Hope I made a good impression.
What are you a pedophile? Girl!? Shouldn't you be dating women? If she is a woman and your attitude is that women are immature or girls that will show. A woman with any self esteem will interpret that as disrespectful and undesirable. It is a clue to someone being a potentially abusive partner. If you have a problem respecting women then you might want to address that first. Because dating for a potential marriage partner can be harmed by that attitude. And if you are dating immature women as potential marriage partners it is a big mistake. Cause when they grow up they tend to leave or make the relationship miserable if they feel trapped by religious requirement.
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Can Dio ever find a orthodox Jewish heavily tattooed biker dream chick?
Stay tuned!
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Went on a date, and did the most stereotypical thing ever. Talked in the lobby of a hotel. Pleasant girl. Hope I made a good impression.
What are you a pedophile? Girl!? Shouldn't you be dating women? If she is a woman and your attitude is that women are immature or girls that will show. A woman with any self esteem will interpret that as disrespectful and undesirable. It is a clue to someone being a potentially abusive partner. If you have a problem respecting women then you might want to address that first. Because dating for a potential marriage partner can be harmed by that attitude. And if you are dating immature women as potential marriage partners it is a big mistake. Cause when they grow up they tend to leave or make the relationship miserable if they feel trapped by religious requirement.
You're reading into the girl/woman thing a bit much.
Alaric, there is hope yet!
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I thought tattoos were forbidden by Judaism.
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I thought tattoos were forbidden by Judaism.
They are. Not that most women would get them in overtly exposed areas anyways. So, I would have no way of knowing if anyone I went out on a date with would have one because womenfolk tend to cover up.
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Went on a date, and did the most stereotypical thing ever. Talked in the lobby of a hotel. Pleasant girl. Hope I made a good impression.
What are you a pedophile? Girl!? Shouldn't you be dating women? If she is a woman and your attitude is that women are immature or girls that will show. A woman with any self esteem will interpret that as disrespectful and undesirable. It is a clue to someone being a potentially abusive partner. If you have a problem respecting women then you might want to address that first. Because dating for a potential marriage partner can be harmed by that attitude. And if you are dating immature women as potential marriage partners it is a big mistake. Cause when they grow up they tend to leave or make the relationship miserable if they feel trapped by religious requirement.
You are a fucking psycho.
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They are. Not that most women would get them in overtly exposed areas anyways. So, I would have no way of knowing if anyone I went out on a date with would have one because womenfolk tend to cover up.
Yes, but my thinking is that if you've restricted your dating pool to only orthodox Jews, your chances of finding a "heavily tattooed biker chick" are pretty much nil. Right? That's why I said you were thwarting your own happiness in the other thread.
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Doesn't it seem a little bigoted to restrict one self to only Jew women? I thought this went away after the whole Eugenics fad. One would think Jews, of all people, would have dropped this practice of keeping the "blood lines pure".
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Doesn't it seem a little bigoted to restrict one self to only Jew women? I thought this went away after the whole Eugenics fad. One would think Jews, of all people, would have dropped this practice of keeping the "blood lines pure".
If taste in dating can be bigoted, then we're all bigots in some way or another.
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They are. Not that most women would get them in overtly exposed areas anyways. So, I would have no way of knowing if anyone I went out on a date with would have one because womenfolk tend to cover up.
Yes, but my thinking is that if you've restricted your dating pool to only orthodox Jews, your chances of finding a "heavily tattooed biker chick" are pretty much nil. Right? That's why I said you were thwarting your own happiness in the other thread.
Pretty much.
I am not sure of the happiness thing, however. Its like people who think blonds are attractive wont be unhappy finding a redheaded spouse because hair color is so much less of a person than personality, attitude, and character.
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Pretty much.
I am not sure of the happiness thing, however. Its like people who think blonds are attractive wont be unhappy finding a redheaded spouse because hair color is so much less of a person than personality, attitude, and character.
Yes, but a) you didn't just express an appreciation for "tattooed biker chicks," but an actual hope for finding one to be with, and yet b) you're deliberately "shopping" for women in a pool that is almost certain to contain no such people. That's a little different from someone who generally prefers blonds ending up with a redhead; it's more like someone who deeply craves to be with a blond steadfastly refusing to even look at anyone but redheads. Like looking for a vegetarian date, but restricting your search to steakhouses. I.e., shooting yourself in the foot.
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Jesus fuck Google your interests already.
http://jewishbikersworldwide.com/
http://www.starofdavidbikers.org/
http://www.jewishfederations.org/page.aspx?id=100749
http://www.canaancruisers.org/
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I don't think ultra orthadox Jews do motorcycles.
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Went on a date, and did the most stereotypical thing ever. Talked in the lobby of a hotel. Pleasant girl. Hope I made a good impression.
What are you a pedophile? Girl!? Shouldn't you be dating women? If she is a woman and your attitude is that women are immature or girls that will show. A woman with any self esteem will interpret that as disrespectful and undesirable. It is a clue to someone being a potentially abusive partner. If you have a problem respecting women then you might want to address that first. Because dating for a potential marriage partner can be harmed by that attitude. And if you are dating immature women as potential marriage partners it is a big mistake. Cause when they grow up they tend to leave or make the relationship miserable if they feel trapped by religious requirement.
You are a fucking psycho.
And you are a fucking asshole. I get it anonymous jerkwad on the internet doesn't like me well right back at you.
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Went on a date, and did the most stereotypical thing ever. Talked in the lobby of a hotel. Pleasant girl. Hope I made a good impression.
What are you a pedophile? Girl!? Shouldn't you be dating women? If she is a woman and your attitude is that women are immature or girls that will show. A woman with any self esteem will interpret that as disrespectful and undesirable. It is a clue to someone being a potentially abusive partner. If you have a problem respecting women then you might want to address that first. Because dating for a potential marriage partner can be harmed by that attitude. And if you are dating immature women as potential marriage partners it is a big mistake. Cause when they grow up they tend to leave or make the relationship miserable if they feel trapped by religious requirement.
You're reading into the girl/woman thing a bit much.
Alaric, there is hope yet!
People's attitudes can be subliminal. If a man addresses women as girls. It could indicate an attitude you are not even aware you are projecting. It potentially indicates peter-pan* syndrome. The peter-pan* type tends to live at home, have a job with little to no responsibility or spend all their money on toys and other frivolous pursuits. It is something for personal self examination and reflection. Cause it is a big red flag a person is not really ready for marriage even if they feel socially pressured to get married. And if that does not fit you it isn't your problem so don't take it personally. However, it tends to be a problem in our society and worthy of consideration.
*Note: Even though it is called peter-pan syndrome there are plenty of women who refuse to grow up.
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Went on a date, and did the most stereotypical thing ever. Talked in the lobby of a hotel. Pleasant girl. Hope I made a good impression.
What are you a pedophile? Girl!? Shouldn't you be dating women? If she is a woman and your attitude is that women are immature or girls that will show. A woman with any self esteem will interpret that as disrespectful and undesirable. It is a clue to someone being a potentially abusive partner. If you have a problem respecting women then you might want to address that first. Because dating for a potential marriage partner can be harmed by that attitude. And if you are dating immature women as potential marriage partners it is a big mistake. Cause when they grow up they tend to leave or make the relationship miserable if they feel trapped by religious requirement.
You're reading into the girl/woman thing a bit much.
Alaric, there is hope yet!
People's attitudes can be subliminal. If a man addresses women as girls. It could indicate an attitude you are not even aware you are projecting.
Sorry, LibLov, but that sounds like a bunch of new age Woman’s Lib crap one would hear spewing from a Berkley female professor that doesn’t shave her legs or pits. Along the lines of all male/female sex is rape.
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I don't know what to make of this, but the womans mother called the shadchan, and said that she didn't want to go on another date with me. She said we're on different wavelengths, because "I'm too smart for her"
The shadchan said she would try to find a smarter girl.
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People's attitudes can be subliminal. If a man addresses women as girls. It could indicate an attitude you are not even aware you are projecting. It potentially indicates peter-pan* syndrome. The peter-pan* type tends to live at home, have a job with little to no responsibility or spend all their money on toys and other frivolous pursuits. It is something for personal self examination and reflection. Cause it is a big red flag a person is not really ready for marriage even if they feel socially pressured to get married. And if that does not fit you it isn't your problem so don't take it personally. However, it tends to be a problem in our society and worthy of consideration.
*Note: Even though it is called peter-pan syndrome there are plenty of women who refuse to grow up.
So what does it mean that I refer to my boyfriend in conversation as "the boy" ? Does that make me a child, or as someone who refuses to grow up? Last I checked, I'm a self supporting "grown up" as far as I knew. I take no offense in referring to women as girls either. Just curious.
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Last week we had 2 marriages, 2 engagements from our group.
Does anyone want updates on my dating foibles, or should I let the thread die?
And no, don't let it die, I find your situation incredibly interesting. I know very little about your faith, and I bet even if I did a lot of research I wouldn't find much on a person's journey through this dating business.
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Sorry, LibLov, but that sounds like a bunch of new age Woman’s Lib crap one would hear spewing from a Berkley female professor that doesn’t shave her legs or pits. Along the lines of all male/female sex is rape.
My co-works and I got upset at our female boss for referring to us as her girls because we found it demeaning as professionals. Male professionals with masters degrees wouldn't be refereed to as my boys by a boss. Would a group of male engineers be refereed to as boys? I don't think so. It has to do with respect and referring to people as being in a juvenile status is disrespectful. This is why I call my man my partner and not my boyfriend.
And what is with the straw-man about sex never said anything along those lines. The rebuttals to that argument are desire, attraction, and orgasm.
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People's attitudes can be subliminal. If a man addresses women as girls. It could indicate an attitude you are not even aware you are projecting. It potentially indicates peter-pan* syndrome. The peter-pan* type tends to live at home, have a job with little to no responsibility or spend all their money on toys and other frivolous pursuits. It is something for personal self examination and reflection. Cause it is a big red flag a person is not really ready for marriage even if they feel socially pressured to get married. And if that does not fit you it isn't your problem so don't take it personally. However, it tends to be a problem in our society and worthy of consideration.
*Note: Even though it is called peter-pan syndrome there are plenty of women who refuse to grow up.
So what does it mean that I refer to my boyfriend in conversation as "the boy" ? Does that make me a child, or as someone who refuses to grow up? Last I checked, I'm a self supporting "grown up" as far as I knew. I take no offense in referring to women as girls either. Just curious.
It is a possible indicator not a certainty. That is why I said you have to do some personal reflection. When you refer to a person in the juvenile, what are you really saying. Are you placing the other person in a subordinate position or are you expressing a desire to remain without responsibility or is it just social conformity/habit. The overall attitude and life style context are key in determining the sub-textual meaning. When a female boss refereed to myself and my co-workers as her girls at an important meeting it was to keep us from consideration for more responsible positions within the structure of the company. She was undermining us as potential competition. If you don't have the other indicators of a sub-textual meaning then it is most likely social habit and nothing more.
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Sorry, LibLov, but that sounds like a bunch of new age Woman’s Lib crap one would hear spewing from a Berkley female professor that doesn’t shave her legs or pits. Along the lines of all male/female sex is rape.
My co-works and I got upset at our female boss for referring to us as her girls because we found it demeaning as professionals. Male professionals with masters degrees wouldn't be refereed to as my boys by a boss.
Not to make a big deal out of this, but is your female boss older? Seems being a “girl” would be a compliment in that case. But I can see that the workplace is no place to be addressing people outside the normal professional ways. “Ladies” or “Worker Units” would be acceptable.
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Not to make a big deal out of this, but is your female boss older? Seems being a “girl” would be a compliment in that case. But I can see that the workplace is no place to be addressing people outside the normal professional ways. “Ladies” or “Worker Units” would be acceptable.
I somehow doubt you'd feel flattered to be called "boy" by your older male boss, or really any older man. It's belittling, isn't it? As if you're a child. Well, the same applies to women.
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I don't know what to make of this, but the womans mother called the shadchan, and said that she didn't want to go on another date with me. She said we're on different wavelengths, because "I'm too smart for her"
The shadchan said she would try to find a smarter girl.
You have to look at the common factor which is you. Something I remember from my dating years were boastful men. They were the center of the universe in their own minds. Whatever they felt was their strength they would boast about. If it was money they would flaunt money. If it was education they would talk down to me about their latest boring dissertation. If it was political connection they would drop names. None of those guys impressed me ever.
I looked for someone who was similar to my father in personality and my dad was very popular. The reason was always pointed out that he was a good listener. Show interest in what the person you are dating has to say. Find out what her hobbies are or her favorite color. Ask her to tell you the story of her best day ever and listen. Alternatively could ask the cliche' question. If you were to be exiled to a desert island and could take 5 personal things with you what would you take? And assume that the island has everything you need for survival already there.
If she uses visual words it will tell you she is a visual person, feeling words indicates a tactile person, and if she uses sounds to describe her best day you know she is an audio person. A visual person will like visual activities like sight seeing and art. A tactile person will like food and sensations things like flower shows or petting animals. An audio person likes music and playing musical instruments. All people are combination of the types but one will dominate usually. It is also a good idea to figure out which is your dominate. Men tend to be audio and visual. Women tend to be tactile. Every individual is different so you have to listen. You will get further with any individual if you talk in the language of their personality type. So if you determine the person you are talking to is a visual talker use visually descriptive words.
Another technique for getting along with people is called mirroring. http://www.loveadvice.com/articles/Mirror_g.HTM (http://www.loveadvice.com/articles/Mirror_g.HTM)
Many people do these things without thinking about it. People who are socially awkward or have difficulties with the opposite sex have to actively practice. The best match will be someone who has a similar personality type but dates can go much better if you can talk in any personality types language. This is important because you might not be right for her but possibly a friend of hers or a cousin. If you impress her but aren't her type she may refer you to a better match.
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Not to make a big deal out of this, but is your female boss older? Seems being a “girl” would be a compliment in that case. But I can see that the workplace is no place to be addressing people outside the normal professional ways. “Ladies” or “Worker Units” would be acceptable.
I somehow doubt you'd feel flattered to be called "boy" by your older male boss, or really any older man. It's belittling, isn't it? As if you're a child. Well, the same applies to women.
"Boy" has a different negative racial meaning in our society than "girl". I stick with Worker Unit 1, 2 or 3. Depending on whom I am adressing in my department and their level of importance to me. This way I avoid any ill feelings with the broads being called something they might find offensive.
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"Boy" has a different negative racial meaning in our society than "girl".
Yes, but I believe you are white and smart enough to know that that racial meaning would not be implied in your case. I still doubt you'd appreciate being referred to that way.
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eh, boys/girls plural is different from boy/girl singular
I wouldn't find the former particularly offensive. Actually on reflection even the singular wouldn't bother me if the age difference was enough to make it appropriate. I can see how it might be different for someone older though.
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"Boy" has a different negative racial meaning in our society than "girl".
Yes, but I believe you are white and smart enough to know that that racial meaning would not be implied in your case. I still doubt you'd appreciate being referred to that way.
Depends on the inflection in hows it is said. I've been called "boy" in the racial way even though I am as white as Wonder Bread. I've also been called "son" by older people that are not my father. I take it as term used by older folk to get the point that they have more wisdom than I do and maybe I should listen up for a bit. They are usually right. It could have be taken as insulting though if I was less secure with myself and my place in the pecking order.
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I've also been called "son" by older people that are not my father. I take it as term used by older folk to get the point that they have more wisdom than I do and maybe I should listen up for a bit. They are usually right. It could have be taken as insulting though if I was less secure with myself and my place in the pecking order.
Right....it couldn't possibly be that it was meant as insulting by someone who isn't your elder, or otherwise used inappropriately by someone (elder or not) who is talking down to you. Only an insecure person would take it as such. I see.
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Only an insecure person would take it as such. I see.
You said it not me.
Lets face it, women have not as of yet gotten their sea legs in work place. One would that they would have by now but such is not the case. Business is still a man's world and women know it. That is what leads to these insecure emotions and misplaced feeling of being slighted. Which is why I have to stick with "Worker Unit 1". Bosses tend to get a little peeved they have to adjust their behavior to suite their subordinates feelings. They might never come out and say it but it is still there.
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Now, now boys and girls.
Behave and be nice to one another.
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(http://lh5.ggpht.com/_E1iiRZ7lNZE/SqV0duW5hJI/AAAAAAABef0/qpcD1y03_68/s800/obvious_troll.preview.jpg)
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Eh, I was trying to give a little advice. Advice in my opinion that is needed. Maybe not to you, or even LL either, but to people in general. Life would be much easier if people grew a little thicker skin. Now, I have to build a paper trail on a person that is decent worker whom I actual like but does not fit into the group any more. And, no it was not I that said "girl'. She is Worker Unit 3. So, she is out. All over nothing. Fuck, how I hate interviewing people.
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Not to make a big deal out of this, but is your female boss older? Seems being a “girl” would be a compliment in that case. But I can see that the workplace is no place to be addressing people outside the normal professional ways. “Ladies” or “Worker Units” would be acceptable.
I somehow doubt you'd feel flattered to be called "boy" by your older male boss, or really any older man. It's belittling, isn't it? As if you're a child. Well, the same applies to women.
"Boy" has a different negative racial meaning in our society than "girl". I stick with Worker Unit 1, 2 or 3. Depending on whom I am adressing in my department and their level of importance to me. This way I avoid any ill feelings with the broads being called something they might find offensive.
I find that offensive. I am a human being not a "worker unit #1"! Rescind that demeaning comment immediately or face the wrath of something or other.
Some people will find anything offensive. There's not point in sugar coating with those folks.
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Eh, I was trying to give a little advice. Advice in my opinion that is needed. Maybe not to you, or even LL either, but to people in general. Life would be much easier if people grew a little thicker skin.
Oh, so you're not trolling...just an idiot. I see.
(Don't like that? Grow a thicker skin; life will be easier.)
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Eh, I was trying to give a little advice. Advice in my opinion that is needed. Maybe not to you, or even LL either, but to people in general. Life would be much easier if people grew a little thicker skin.
Oh, so you're not trolling...just an idiot. I see.
(Don't like that? Grow a thicker skin; life will be easier.)
I think this is just a case of you only hurt the ones you love. It stung a little, I gotta say.
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Back off Davann.
Rillion is mine.
I'll fucking cut you.
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:roll: Bitches be trippin yo
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Back off Davann.
Rillion is mine.
I'll fucking cut you.
I think Rillion has a say in this....................
In my dating news, the girl I wanted to propose to a year ago is now engaged to some other guy. C'est la vie. She wasn't the first to get away. The other one keeps posting pics of her growing family online.
The night I found out, I drank myself sloppy, and passed out on a friends couch.
In other news, things are working on the other end of the pipeline.
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A friend had his engagement party today, and when I went, I saw the same girl I dated once a year back.
Thing is that after a single date, I called the person who set us up, and said I didn't want a second date. It might seem a bit callus to have wine-and-dined her and just say no, but I really hated her taste in books. Serious. Thereafter, I see her at the engagement of every single one of my friends for months. Every wedding, and at the supermarket all the time.
At the engagement, they have the tables set up across the room separating the guys from the girls. I see her there, and turn to a good friend, and say "she's here again"
He replies "and shes engaged to our friend."
Oh.
Another girl I dated, this one from L.A. is also engaged now. She struck me as a gold-digger, and I am nit a mine, so that was no loss.
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Whilst learning tonight, a friend called me saying that he was called by a woman asking about me. Mystery woman. I don't know her name, her number, or how she knew this friend in Los Angeles knew me. She didn't even get all that much info from him before they went onto talking about other things. He knew her, obviously, but wouldn't tell me who she was.
Well, it doesn't take much thinking to figure out the identity of this woman. Around a week ago, I get a call from a lady about a post Shabbat get-together for Persians in my city. This same woman saw my name in a rolodex, and decided to inquire on my behalf. I called her, and said I couldn't make it to the get-together, but invited me on any future date to her home for a meal on Shabbat. I'm almost certain its the same woman, but will ultimately find out if I randomly get a call about a girl. At this stage, however, I'm probably just in another part of her rolodex now.
The less confusing news is that I will finally meet a girl soon. The matriarch of a family whose home I go to every week arranged for me to meet a girl at their house tomorrow. She sounds real smart. PhD and all. I'm excited.
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rolodex
wat
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rolodex
wat
I think he meant "FRIEND LIST"
(http://www.insidefacebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/friendstab2.jpg)
not:
(http://www.mugoo.com/wiki/uploads/Main/rolodex.jpg)
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Panic, you're right.
So the updates are that two of the girls I dated in the past are now married.
One I heard of from the grapevine, and the other, from someone whose house I went to on Shabbat in NYC a few months past.
He called for some info, and asked me where I was holding in life. I hadn't yet received my university acceptance letter, so I didn't know if I was in or not, and I already gave my months notice at work. My business hasn't started yet, so at that point a week ago, I was in an awkward place; in between a lot of things.
A dude I barely know admonished me for ten minutes on the phone about stability, what Brooklyn girls want, etc. Not fun.
That's pretty awkward. Living in a community where random people treat you like distant family has its pluses and minuses.
Of the girls I previously mentioned being in queue, the Persian one didn't move, which probably means she isn't interested, and the other girl is "in the middle of something that may or may not work out".
Blargh.
There is another girl my Rebbes wife met a few days ago. I updated my resume and forwarded it to her. We will see ow that works out.
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Resume? Like a dating resume?
Where you underestimate the number of gentiles you've banged?
Or do you mean your real resume?
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Resume? Like a dating resume?
Where you underestimate the number of gentiles you've banged?
Or do you mean your real resume?
Dating resume.
The number of girls I've banged is not on it.
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I think that's relevant information.
What kind of things go on a dating resume?
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I think that's relevant information.
What kind of things go on a dating resume?
Name, height, weight near the top. Then under headers its schooling, professional work, personality, activities (aka hobbies and interests), requests, family info, and references.
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Is there a box to check for cirumcised or is that already assumed in the "circle" you run in?
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Is there a box to check for cirumcised or is that already assumed in the "circle" you run in?
Thats assumed.
An update. I moved cities into an area with a much more modern flavor. A week ago I lived in a hasidic neighborhood, and now am in a Modern Orthodox one. I fit in socially ok,, but dress differently than everyone else. Its a top 50 university in Manhattan. The entire school is Jewish, and there are 2 campuses. A male one and a female one. Its somehow still bizarre to see the women when they are on campus as that never would happen in my old town. The university sent the entire male student body an email about meeting matchmakers. What happens next will be reported on.
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I still cant help but think of Fiddler on the Roof singing TRADITION! every time this thread comes up. Does that make me racist?
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I still cant help but think of Fiddler on the Roof singing TRADITION! every time this thread comes up. Does that make me racist?
Well, now because of the update you should be thinking "Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match! Find me a find, catch me a catch..." :lol:
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A few updates. One is that another one of my friends is engaged. That makes me the absolute last man standing in the bachelor category in my circle of friends. Among out wider circle of friends I am now one of the very few singles this old. In my world, I am a rarity.
That brings me to the singles even my university hosted. They had to reschedule their "meet the connectors" event due to the weather. My guess is that they first scour one campus, then the other. They then cross match people for whom a match seems relevant. They're not covert about their efforts at all. They have a co-ed ice skating event in a week, and even had a Rabbi from the administration come in and give us a pep talk about dating. Its a total departure from where I just came from. Just a few weeks ago, I ate a meal at a house where the men and women were seated in different rooms, and now I live in a totally different society.
Also, since I am in an entirely new setting, I am meeting many people for the first time. A Rabbi who teaches Gemara invited me over for a meal on the Sabbath. I accepted knowing that it was not coincidence that the only other guy he extended the invitation to was also the only other single guy in the class.
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Crongrats, it looks like you are really starting to merge with your now community in a way that could only end up positive.
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You live in a building with a high school?
Have you considered dating a high school chick?
They dig people with cars that are old enough to buy booze.
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You live in a building with a high school?
Have you considered dating a high school chick?
They dig people with cars that are old enough to buy booze.
Heh, no. I'm too old for one of them, and I never meet girls anyways. I live in a men's high school, in an entirely male college campus.
So, I went to the event the university sponsored for meeting "the connectors". I hate to keep bringing up the job search analogy, but it looked the way I would imagine a job fair would be like. I have never had any appreciable length of time without a job, but if I did, I would imagine it would be like trying to find a wife, now.
There was a gymnasium of ladies behind neat rows of desks. A few of the younger ones had their husbands with them. Most had clipboards of names with them. Every time one concluded an interview with one of the other guys there, I would make eye contact, and sit down to speak. After about an hour of this, I was done.
None have called back yet, so what effect this had waits to be seen.
In other news, a friends wife emailed me for my resume. Hopefully there will be a follow-up.
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I gave a few of the women I spoke with at the "connect" meeting a follow-up email, but still have yet to receive a reply. Meh.
A family I am close to met a girl recently. The wife was all like "This girls gotta meet Diogenes!"
A few revisions of the dating resume, and some legwork led to something pretty cool; a date on Sunday.
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Sweet. 8) Good luck, Dio.
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Update.
I went on the date. The girl was cool. Chill. The whole experience was something else. It's rare to meet any woman who is conversant in Latin, and knows the entire story behind Superman, let alone a religious one. We spent hours wandering Central Park enjoying each others company talking about everything from personal philosophies, to porcupine mating habits.
On the way back home, we're on the subway platform, and she starts vomiting uncontrollably just out of nowhere. I go out and buy her some napkins, and you know, she's a real trooper about it. Most people would be horribly mortified over that, but she was all like "well, that was weird". Totally nonplussed over it. That's pretty impressive.
I talked to the matchmaker, and the girl is healthy. Seems like what happened on he subway platform was a one-off event. She does want to continue.
I'm a bit excited about the next meeting.
The matchmaker from a previous post did finally respond to me, but given recent developments, I have yet to respond.
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Update.
I went on the date. The girl was cool. Chill. The whole experience was something else. It's rare to meet any woman who is conversant in Latin, and knows the entire story behind Superman, let alone a religious one. We spent hours wandering Central Park enjoying each others company talking about everything from personal philosophies, to porcupine mating habits.
On the way back home, we're on the subway platform, and she starts vomiting uncontrollably just out of nowhere. I go out and buy her some napkins, and you know, she's a real trooper about it. Most people would be horribly mortified over that, but she was all like "well, that was weird". Totally nonplussed over it. That's pretty impressive.
I talked to the matchmaker, and the girl is healthy. Seems like what happened on he subway platform was a one-off event. She does want to continue.
I'm a bit excited about the next meeting.
The matchmaker from a previous post did finally respond to me, but given recent developments, I have yet to respond.
What do you mean you went and bought her some napkins? Did you bring the napkins back into the subway platform where she was puking!??!?! What do you mean when you say you bought "napkins"? How many napkins did you buy? Who buys napkins?!??! Napkins are supposed to be for free.
BTW...So you don't know why she was puking? There must be a logical explanation for this.
According to "the laws"...are you allowed to call her on the phone to see if she is OK?
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5BjMTVnNuE[/youtube]
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What do you mean you went and bought her some napkins? Did you bring the napkins back into the subway platform where she was puking!??!?! What do you mean when you say you bought "napkins"? How many napkins did you buy? Who buys napkins?!??! Napkins are supposed to be for free.
BTW...So you don't know why she was puking? There must be a logical explanation for this.
According to "the laws"...are you allowed to call her on the phone to see if she is OK?
At the middle of the subway platform, there was a kiosk that I bought a couple packets of kleenex from. Of course I had to buy them. I wasn't counting on my date tossing her cookies like that! Who would?
She didn't know why she puked. I'm sure she didn't mean to. Its not the kind of thing a person prepares in advance. At the time, she was at a loss for an explanation.
Richard, calling her never occurred to me. It could be a great idea. Ill run it through the matchmaker.
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I think she must really be into Dio, that's why she puked. She was nervous about fucking up and saying something stupid.
That or she thought about something nasty.
Not good nasty, nasty-nasty.
♠
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Is she hot?
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When I met my wife, she was super thin and she had a nervous stomach (some shit at home) and she threw up alot when we first started dating.
Later, that went away....
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Did you give her a kiss at the end of the date?
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Did you give her a kiss at the end of the date?
LMAO
Good luck Dio. I hate to say this, but I agree with pube, call her, ask her if she is okay.
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Went on second date. She's fine, and totally ok. Healthy and all.
On this date, we violated every rule about dating. I took her out to a crowded Starbucks, and we ended up sitting in the rain outside on the bench talking about all sorts of things. She wants to be a social worker. That's a bit scary, in my view, and we went from there to politics. That was also dangerous waters. She seems both apolitical, and liberal. Then the topic turned to religion.
The rain abated, and I took her for a bite. We went into another local restaurant. That's another no-no. According to the etiquette, I am supposed to only take her places where we wouldn't know anybody.We talked more. Turns out, it took me longer to get ready than her. Overall, its confusing to me how a woman would be low-maintenance.
When it came time to take her back, through the rain, I insisted on getting the umbrella from my dorm a block away. We went, and since women are not allowed inside the building, and I didn't want to leave her waiting n the lobby, I played a maneuver. All the entrances are guarded by security. There are 3 staircases. What I did was take her into a nonrestricted area, snake through the basement, and up a staircase that goes behind the back of the security guard. A simple walk through the high school, and....I left her at the staircase. When I got back with the umbrella, I didn't have a good explanation for how I figured that route out.
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I can begin to see the romantic advantages of your structured way of doing things.
I wish you the best. :)
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It's a good thing if she's apolitical.
Good luck Dio.
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Will you invite us to the wedding?
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With all the rules I figured the divorce rate among Jews would be low, but the figures on this page have Jews at the top of the list.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm
Is the rate different for Orthodox Jews? (Not even sure if you're Orthodox or not Dio.)
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With all the rules I figured the divorce rate among Jews would be low, but the figures on this page have Jews at the top of the list.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm
Is the rate different for Orthodox Jews? (Not even sure if you're Orthodox or not Dio.)
I am Orthodox. Don't have any numbers on the divorce rate, but assume its lower than the national and secular Jewish average.
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to avoid divorce, you both have to try your asses off to make it work! I know - but, I'm not Jewish!
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We went out again Sunday. I swear she gets prettier every time I see her. We walked to the park, to the G.W. bridge, and stopped by her apartment to pick up a book we could read together over lunch. Well, against better reason, we read "I Only Want To Get Married Once" together, and considered the points. Its just strange how smooth our interactions have been, considering how unusual they are. We're very comfortable together. Certain qualities we have seem to compliment each other. If that's the right word.
You see, there are a few mannerisms I have that could be good or bad, depending on how they're looked at. You can't pick it up from across the pc screen, but I am very finicky about cleanliness. She admitted to eating food off the floor before. I can tell the difference between hand sanitizer brands by the smell.
The finickiness extends to clothing as well. Whereas I wear form fitted clothes. Shirts starched, and slacks pressed with shoes well shined. She wears baggy clothes, and her hair in a ponytail. Given how I grew up very Persian culturally, this is enigmatic to me. To think that I enjoy going to the mall and she doesn't doesn't assimilate well in my mind. I realized that I own not just more designer fashions than her, but am more likely to wear anything by D&G, BCBG, or other similar labels. I also own more clothing than her......and more shoes. This is disconcerting.
That came to the point of absurdity when were walking along, and came by a bodega selling purses, and I pointed out the Louis Vuitton bags to her. I then explained, as unawkwardly as possible how you could tell the brand from the design. Only a minute later and she mentioned on a different topic how she prefers to drive stick. I wish I knew how.
So I guess in a way we do compliment one another.
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to avoid divorce, you both have to try your asses off to make it work! I know - but, I'm not Jewish!
It's been my experience that the easiest relationship to maintain is when both parties go into it with the frame of mind that theres no perfect match in the world for anyone. Sounds cynical, but in reality, its just the opposite. Problems in relationships seem to always come down to one or both people believing that everyone else in the world has some perfect story book relationship and they deserve the same thing, but if they could only see what goes on in private with those people, they would appreciate what they have even more.
Results may vary, but thats been my experience.
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Neatness nuts and practical people drive each other nuts Dio.
I would suggest you be careful to never sound judgemental or try to give orders, and it might work. A mutual respect for each others space would be the key.
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That came to the point of absurdity when were walking along, and came by a bodega selling purses, and I pointed out the Louis Vuitton bags to her. I then explained, as unawkwardly as possible how you could tell the brand from the design. Only a minute later and she mentioned on a different topic how she prefers to drive stick. I wish I knew how.
So I guess in a way we do compliment one another.
Aww. You could be each other's beards.
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Dio has indicated he likes a tougher sort of woman. What is wrong with that?
http://www.yeeeeee.com/2008/10/27/beautiful-israeli-women-soldiers-206-pics/ (http://www.yeeeeee.com/2008/10/27/beautiful-israeli-women-soldiers-206-pics/)
Jewish woman with a bit of grit are O.K. by me as well. And I am not a neatness nut by any stretch.
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But does the blood rush to your groin over her?
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Dio has indicated he likes a tougher sort of woman. What is wrong with that?
http://www.yeeeeee.com/2008/10/27/beautiful-israeli-women-soldiers-206-pics/ (http://www.yeeeeee.com/2008/10/27/beautiful-israeli-women-soldiers-206-pics/)
Jewish woman with a bit of grit are O.K. by me as well. And I am not a neatness nut by any stretch.
Get it out of your head that being Israeli means being Jewish. It helps, but it's like saying that being American means being Christian.
(http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk295/zingdan/October/Oct 27/ThreecuteIsraeliArmygirls.jpg)
The middle one, please. Thanks much.
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The other two aren't to shabby either.
In fact all three at once, and alcohol of their choice please.
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A friend from the old Yeshiva came up to visit me a few hours ago. He told me to keep it a secret, but basically, he is getting engaged this weekend. He also reminded me that 2 of our friends are weeks from marriage as well, and another friend was a few days from his engagement, but that too should be kept on the down-low. As we chatted, a text came in that another one of our friends got engaged. Weird.
Weird because engagement is something that crossed my mind recently.
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I'd sleep with her before you do anything drastic.
Edit: **She**could be a real bore in bed. zzzzzz.
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Yeah, you don't want her to complain about that your whole life.
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Dio, I'm not fucking with you.
I meant to type she could be a real bore in bed.
No joke, late night typo.
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Dio, I'm not fucking with you.
I meant to type she could be a real bore in bed.
No joke, late night typo.
We don't get to hold hands till marriage.
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Dio, I'm not fucking with you.
I meant to type she could be a real bore in bed.
No joke, late night typo.
We don't get to hold hands till marriage.
That's what I was gettin' to when I asked if the blood rushes to your groin. That's a big deal in a relationship, or at least it should be.
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Sexual incompatibility is a very real problem, and it is difficult to fix for couples that insist on staying married. I hope honesty is the word of the day with this traditional stuff.
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Dio, I'm not fucking with you.
I meant to type she could be a real bore in bed.
No joke, late night typo.
We don't get to hold hands till marriage.
That's what I was gettin' to when I asked if the blood rushes to your groin. That's a big deal in a relationship, or at least it should be.
She gets hotter every time I see her.
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She gets hotter every time I see her.
When are you going to ask her to marry you, and how long does a Jew engagement last?
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Dio, I'm not fucking with you.
I meant to type she could be a real bore in bed.
No joke, late night typo.
We don't get to hold hands till marriage.
That's what I was gettin' to when I asked if the blood rushes to your groin. That's a big deal in a relationship, or at least it should be.
She gets hotter every time I see her.
Pic's or it didn't happen. You can blur her face out.
Thanks in advance.
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So, a general update.
Because of the holiday of Purim, we canceled our normal Sunday date a few weeks back. I realized we were spending time in nearby places, and offered to accompany her home. Here's the thing, I made the offer in an email. I took a picture of myself in costume and holding up a sign asking for her company.
We met that night, and she related something from her friends. They thought that "I'm a really cute boy." I found out I can blush that night.
The next week we went out bowling. That got boring real quick, so we took a subway from Harlem to Times Square. I took her to a bar and we drank a little.
We opened up to each other, a lot.
Well, I called my uncle the next day, because he's a jeweler, and started asking about a ring....................
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So, a general update.
Because of the holiday of Purim, we canceled our normal Sunday date a few weeks back. I realized we were spending time in nearby places, and offered to accompany her home. Here's the thing, I made the offer in an email. I took a picture of myself in costume and holding up a sign asking for her company.
We met that night, and she related something from her friends. They thought that "I'm a really cute boy." I found out I can blush that night.
The next week we went out bowling. That got boring real quick, so we took a subway from Harlem to Times Square. I took her to a bar and we drank a little.
We opened up to each other, a lot.
Well, I called my uncle the next day, because he's a jeweler, and started asking about a ring....................
Wait a minute.....your uncle's a jeweler?
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Wait a minute.....your uncle's a jeweler?
Yeah. I know I know. Pretty stereotypical job.
To blackie: Dunno when I'll ask. An engagement lasts as long as we would want it to.
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I asked her to marry me on Sunday. She said yes.
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I'm not the marrying kind, totally against it actually, but congrats to ya I reckon :)
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I asked her to marry me on Sunday. She said yes.
Congrats, hope to meet her soon!
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Thank you guys!
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congratulations
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I asked her to marry me on Sunday. She said yes.
Cool. I wish you both nothing but the best. Take care of each other, and it will last.
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We decided on a date for the wedding. About 3 months from now.
Guess this thread doesn't need to exist anymore.
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before you get married, write out a list of stuff you won't give up and the same for her. also, mutual goals,etc.
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You sure about this?
Why buy a book when the library has 1,000's of titles for free?
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You sure about this?
Why buy a book when the library has 1,000's of titles for free?
yea, and the current book doesn't get all pissy when you look at or handle another book.
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You sure about this?
Why buy a book when the library has 1,000's of titles for free?
yea, and the current book doesn't get all pissy when you look at or handle another book.
:)
..and don't get the copies with the soiled cover & tattered pages.
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I think you should be able to inspect her naked before you marry her, even if you don't get to bang her.
It would be terrible if she has a flaccid penis above her vagina.
Just saying.
Ask for a look.
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and here you were all worried and shit that you would never be married. 10 years from now you'll look back and wonder where the hell did all the time go?
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We decided on a date for the wedding. About 3 months from now.
Guess this thread doesn't need to exist anymore.
But what I'm going to read on the BBS from now on?? :)
and Congratulations!!!
((edited because My grammar sucks))
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We just hit the rocks a few minutes ago. I just came off of a phone conversation with her, and it doesn't sound good.
I have a business I am planning on starting up, and it involves hosting all sorts of content for money. The issue came up on different websites, and if, specifically, if I would allow porn sites to do business. Well, the conversation I was having with her brother about what I was going to do went south on that note.
Well, she calls up to discuss this. I told her that under no conditions would I engage in censorship, because I couldn't live with myself if I saw a KGB agent every time I went to look into a mirror. She was upset with all that.
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We just hit the rocks a few minutes ago. I just came off of a phone conversation with her, and it doesn't sound good.
I have a business I am planning on starting up, and it involves hosting all sorts of content for money. The issue came up on different websites, and if, specifically, if I would allow porn sites to do business. Well, the conversation I was having with her brother about what I was going to do went south on that note.
Well, she calls up to discuss this. I told her that under no conditions would I engage in censorship, because I couldn't live with myself if I saw a KGB agent every time I went to look into a mirror. She was upset with all that.
Dump her-
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We just hit the rocks a few minutes ago. I just came off of a phone conversation with her, and it doesn't sound good.
I have a business I am planning on starting up, and it involves hosting all sorts of content for money. The issue came up on different websites, and if, specifically, if I would allow porn sites to do business. Well, the conversation I was having with her brother about what I was going to do went south on that note.
Well, she calls up to discuss this. I told her that under no conditions would I engage in censorship, because I couldn't live with myself if I saw a KGB agent every time I went to look into a mirror. She was upset with all that.
Dump her-
+1
But be nice about it.
Anyone who has something against porn has some serious issues to deal with before they cohabitate with another human being.
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We just hit the rocks a few minutes ago. I just came off of a phone conversation with her, and it doesn't sound good.
I have a business I am planning on starting up, and it involves hosting all sorts of content for money. The issue came up on different websites, and if, specifically, if I would allow porn sites to do business. Well, the conversation I was having with her brother about what I was going to do went south on that note.
Well, she calls up to discuss this. I told her that under no conditions would I engage in censorship, because I couldn't live with myself if I saw a KGB agent every time I went to look into a mirror. She was upset with all that.
Dump her-
+1
But be nice about it.
Anyone who has something against porn has some serious issues to deal with before they cohabitate with another human being.
this!@ before marriage?
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this!@ before marriage?
Huh?
Didnt get that.
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she wants to be critical of his business plans - before they even get married!
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she wants to be critical of his business plans - before they even get married!
Oh, right, exactly!
Imagine how she might be if they were all legal n' stuff?
fahgettaboudit
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yea, the "tang" ain't worth that shit!
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Well, she calls up to discuss this. I told her that under no conditions would I engage in censorship, because I couldn't live with myself if I saw a KGB agent every time I went to look into a mirror. She was upset with all that.
You will host child porn?
I think she is right.
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Well, she calls up to discuss this. I told her that under no conditions would I engage in censorship, because I couldn't live with myself if I saw a KGB agent every time I went to look into a mirror. She was upset with all that.
You will host child porn?
I think she is right.
I think she means any porn. Even regular adult stuff.
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talk with her - if she won't reason, then dump her.
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmWdVSzT8ZU[/youtube]
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Or he could tell her that it's business.. something women should stay out of due to their many emotional handicaps.
He could still fuck her and give her money and stuff, say "I love you" when needed, but leave the business to the menfolk.
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so, Dio - what happened?
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so, Dio - what happened?
She murdered him.
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no, he was just here when I posted the querstion.
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It just happened.
Like 6 minutes ago.
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He's gone - no marriage now.... and it was so sweet at the beginning.. an angel that was a perfect match. the honeymoon would've been pure bliss.
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He's gone - no marriage now.... and it was so sweet at the beginning.. an angel that was a perfect match. the honeymoon would've been pure bliss.
Not to mention the awesome hot strippers at the bachelor party.
HUBBA HUBBA !!
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Well, she calls up to discuss this. I told her that under no conditions would I engage in censorship, because I couldn't live with myself if I saw a KGB agent every time I went to look into a mirror. She was upset with all that.
You will host child porn?
I think she is right.
Guys, I wont dump her. Talked to my Rebbe about it, and he told me to chill out. That I was being overly dramatic, blah blah blah. I was right in my assessment that it would be permissible to sell, but that I should have considered the general damage I would do to the world with this. My counter that I could open a new wing in a hospital with extra money didn't fly with him.
It kills me. It really kills me, but I'm gonna listen to them. My Rebbe did tell me to learn to become more humble. :-(
blackie, anything so long as its legal. Just because I have standards for myself does not mean that I intend to impose them onto anyone else.
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Good. I had a hard time believing you would go through all that trouble to get a religious gal and then be surprised when she had issues with porn.
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Good. I had a hard time believing you would go through all that trouble to get a religious gal and then be surprised when she had issues with porn.
This.
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Women are crazy. They have all this empathy, and shit.
What the hell?
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Women are crazy. They have all this empathy, and shit.
You obviously never met my ex, who divorced me in order to be able to put a 3 year old boy into full-time daycare.
Bitch. No empathy there.
If you found a woman with empathy, keep her.
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Women are crazy. They have all this empathy, and shit.
You obviously never met my ex, who divorced me in order to be able to put a 3 year old boy into full-time daycare.
Bitch. No empathy there.
If you found a woman with empathy, keep her.
Good advice!
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did you get married yet?
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Whoa. This thread got a lot more exciting.
Maybe he hasn't posted because he's in the "HOLY SHIT SEX! WHOA!" stage, and he can't do much else besides work and be with his wife.
Hope it's worked out, Dio.
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A LOT of stuff has gone down since the last update. I'm still taking it in, and organizing it in my own mind before presenting it here.
One thing is that the dam broke. We had this thing going on where we would play a game. We called it "shomer chicken" and the context for the name isn't as important as what it was. We would tease one another by getting as close as possible without touching, and pantomime what we would like to do to the other, or describe it in detail. For hours, we would tease each other like this. Never quite touching, but getting close, tugging on clothes, breathing on, etc. The dam broke when we were in Times Square. At some point, she asked for a kiss. It cascaded from there. She made me scrambled eggs the next morning. What followed was a few weeks of being discreet in public, but sneaking into locked rooms when we could. Playing the part of two couples prematurely.
Then I got sick.
I spent two weeks in the hospital, and now, thank G-d, I am fine, and don't need surgery, but my girl was upset by all the events surrounding it. None of my friends knew initially, and I couldn't get a hold of anybody because I was out of the house without a cell phone or wallet. When she found out, she visited me only once. When she did, the entire time we spoke, I was consoling her, telling her it would be all right, and that things would work out.
I got out, and we agreed to speak this Sunday. I am pretty sure she wants to dump me, but not before taking me to a hotel nearby to say goodbye. What makes this more complicated is that in the hospital, I resigned myself to a breakup, and at the same time, found a very hot nympho in the same floor who does modeling on the side. She isn't Jewish, so there isn't a shot at anything permanent, but, she fulfills a vacuum of need.
Still, with a working relationship, its technically emotionally cheating, even if I don't do anything.
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Why would you getting sick ruin the relationship?
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If there's this much drama now..........
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Your suppost to cheat the matchmaker.
Sounds like you were beaten up or in a carwreck.
You need to square your feelings on what you want. Between this thread and the question thread I find your point of view confusing.
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Did you use a sheet with a hole (http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=68932&title=hole-in-the-sheet) in it?
What did Mr. Rebbe have to say about all of this?
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If there's this much drama now..........
It gets worse.
We both dumped other people to begin dating.
To the rest of the guys, I don't know what you're asking.
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If there's this much drama now..........
It gets worse.
We both dumped other people to begin dating.
To the rest of the guys, I don't know what you're asking.
You don't understand the question: Why would you getting sick ruin the relationship?
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If there's this much drama now..........
It gets worse.
We both dumped other people to begin dating.
To the rest of the guys, I don't know what you're asking.
That wasn't meant to be an anticipatory remark regarding details of the situation you have yet to relay to us, rather, it was meant to invoke thoughts regarding the potential exponential increase of drama once the relationship has been fully legitimatized by your church, Rabbi, local government or various combinations thereof, as in: "If there's this much drama now, you should run away!".
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So, the question again...what kind of sickness causes your relationship to implode? Did you get an STD or something???
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It sounds like it was a beatdown from his fiancee's brothers, or some other Jews in his community. That sounds like the right punishment in his community for what he did. If that is what happened, he won't be able to tell us non-Jews.
I read a story a few months back about a 13yo jew chick in the west bank that had to get engaged because she played 'shomer chicken' with a dude.
http://www.haaretz.com/print-edition/news/haredi-parents-marry-off-13-year-old-daughter-as-penance-for-flirtations-1.351664
Published 02:04 25.03.11
Latest update 02:04 25.03.11
Haredi parents marry off 13-year-old daughter as 'penance' for flirtations
Rabbi in West Bank town of Modi'in convinced parents that Kabbalist text prescribed matrimony to atone for 'misconduct'.
By Chaim Levinson
A 13-year-old girl from the ultra-Orthodox town of Modi'in Ilit was married to a 16-year-old this week, after religious activists in the town told the girls' parents it would be penance for her romantic involvement with the boy.
About a month ago, the girl, an eighth-grader at the Netivot Da'at school in the West Bank town of Modi'in Ilit, told other girls in her class that she had become engaged to a 16-year-old boy from Rehovot, and that the two intended to get married soon. She also showed the girls clips of the engagement on her cellular phone.
Gossipers spread the story through the town, and an investigation launched by the welfare department discovered that the girl had become involved with boys over the past year, conduct that is prohibited in the ultra-Orthodox world. The parents, who are poor, approached a local rabbi, known to be involved in kabbalah, who told them that according to the kabbalistic work "The Zohar," the girl could atone by getting married. Six weeks ago, an engagement ceremony was held for the couple.
The wedding was set for the Purim holiday on Sunday. However, when the story became known, other rabbis of the town, led by the city's chief rabbi, Meir Kessler, began a campaign to call off the wedding. Kessler said that if the local rabbi and the parents had married off the young couple, he would call for that rabbi's excommunication. Kessler told Haaretz: I am utterly against the wedding. Marriages must not take place at that age. The marriage will not succeed."
The welfare department also began to monitor the girl closely. Municipal leaders also involved the police, who launched an investigation into suspicions of statutory rape and illegal marriage. The police also asked for a court injunction against the marriage, and warned the father not to go ahead with the marriage.
Over the past week, the parents they said they would call off the engagement. However, the welfare authorities said they had reason to suspect the wedding had in fact taken place in the presence of a rabbi, two witnesses, the parents of the bride and the parents of the groom. According to a senior official in the municipality, the individuals who had been pressuring the girl's family to marry her off told them this was the only way for the girl to supposedly atone for what they said was her sin, and the family was unable to withstand the pressure.
The Benjamin region police, headed by Chief Superintendent Yoram Akua, will now be launching an investigation against the parents and the rabbi who performed the ceremony. Their alleged offense carries a two-year jail term.
The law in Israel prohibits marriage under the age of 17, except by special court permission. According to Jewish law, marriages usually do not take place before the age of 18, except in the most radical sectors of the Bratslav Hasidim, where couples can marry at age 15. In the strict ultra-Orthodox Eda Haredit in Jerusalem, the custom is to get engaged at age 16 and wait two years until marriage.
A spokesman for the Modi'in Ilit local council said: "Due to the social workers' strike, the response of the welfare department is unavailable."
The girl's mother declined to comment, as did the rabbi who urged the family to marry off the girl.
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We called it "shomer chicken" and the context for the name isn't as important as what it was.
Where was the chaperone?
Seriously, you need a chaperone.
Then I got sick.
Did anyone say anything right before, or during you getting sick?
I spent two weeks in the hospital, and now, thank G-d, I am fine, and don't need surgery, but my girl was upset by all the events surrounding it. None of my friends knew initially, and I couldn't get a hold of anybody because I was out of the house without a cell phone or wallet.
Did you have to jump out a window with no clothes on or something?
What makes this more complicated is that in the hospital, I resigned myself to a breakup, and at the same time, found a very hot nympho in the same floor who does modeling on the side. She isn't Jewish, so there isn't a shot at anything permanent, but, she fulfills a vacuum of need.
Still, with a working relationship, its technically emotionally cheating, even if I don't do anything.
Working relationship...I though you were engaged to be married. How many times have you been engaged?
But yeah, you are not ready to be married.
How is this going to look on your dating resume?
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Have you, as part of being a jew or in any other manner, consented to getting your ass kicked for having the sex? I'm not really opposed to this. It's fascinating to me. Also, is having the sex worse or not worse than wearing mismatched and/or out of season clothing at Wal-Mart? I guess you shouldn't be throwing stones... oh yeah,,, Stone throwing is strongly encouraged in the OLD testament. Stone throwing and killing people and taking their stuff in the name of a fictional character.
edit: I'm only halfway sorry that I can't manage to have a civil conversation about something that interests me with someone who has shown such contempt for me and my kind in the past.
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So, the question again...what kind of sickness causes your relationship to implode? Did you get an STD or something???
Problem is I can't confirm or deny any speculation on what happened to me. Hell, I could have been in jail for all you guys know.
Hellbilly, my life is overly dramatic.
blackie, never had the chaperon. We did follow all the rules in the beginning, before the dam broke. The engagement was never official.
Ecolitan, chill dude. I never consented to any asskickings. I don't know how walmart fits into this. I'll be the first to admit i am not a perfect person, and I have my flaws. What is your kind, exactly?
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Problem is I can't confirm or deny any speculation on what happened to me.
Confirmed, you were attacked by jews.
blackie, never had the chaperon. We did follow all the rules in the beginning, before the dam broke. The engagement was never official.
You should have had a chaperon.
What do you mean the engagement was never official?
Did you ask her to marry you?
Did you give her a ring?
Who pays for your hospital bills?
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Ecolitan, chill dude. I never consented to any asskickings. I don't know how walmart fits into this. I'll be the first to admit i am not a perfect person, and I have my flaws. What is your kind, exactly?
The kind that doesn't dress up to your standards at wal-mart, which tends to be the kind that has better things to spend their money on than providing you with an aesthetically pleasing world. Which is really just blue collar people. Not every time of course. On my days off or on days I'm trying to manipulate shallow people's opinion of me by wearing prettier clothes you'd find me mostly acceptable. You don't remember? I do. I don't forget shit like that. I know when people declare publicly how unworthy I am of being in their world. Imma go put on some clothes that are just a few wearings a way from being torn into rags now and go out into public. I'll be damned if I'm gonna ruin some perfectly good clothes for your sake today.
Also, gentiles.
Edit: The t-shirt I am wearing I got used for free when I was a teenager (I'm 32). It's one of my favorites. I like the way it accentuates my man boobs. It really is very close to retirement. I wear it like a badge of honor. A guy shows up on a jobsite in some shiny white pumas you can pretty much guarantee he'll be worthless.
I see a great deal of benefit to the way you're going about finding a wife. Sure it's flawed but it includes many very wise and useful things that have been lost in our culture.
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Did you get stoned?
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Problem is I can't confirm or deny any speculation on what happened to me.
Confirmed, you were attacked by jews.
blackie, never had the chaperon. We did follow all the rules in the beginning, before the dam broke. The engagement was never official.
You should have had a chaperon.
What do you mean the engagement was never official?
Did you ask her to marry you?
Did you give her a ring?
Who pays for your hospital bills?
The engagement was never official.
I asked her to marry me. She said yes.
No ring, but I know the styles she likes.
My insurance.
EDIT: Not worthy of a post on its own, but damn, its annoying that my fiancee is physically abusive. WTF?
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Its more than annoying dumbass, make it crystal clear that you will defend yourself or run for the fucking hills and break it off.
It will not get better.
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I wonder if her being physically abusive has anything to do with the restrictive culture that she lives in. I know I'd be frustrated...probably not physically abusive, but frustrated. In any case, if someone attacks me, I don't really care if they have a penis or not. I'm going to fight back if I think I can subdue them easily or GTFO otherwise. If a girl I was dating started attacking me, I'd throw her the fuck out and move on. I guess that's harder to do when your dating pool consists of <1% of the population or whatever it is, so I guess you should figure out what works for you. However, the worst possible decision is to let her get away with physically abusing you. As alaric89 said, it will NOT get better.
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Wow. So you got jumped by her brothers because she banged you? Were either of you virgins beforehand or is this a regular cycle?
Also, I thought y'all dumped each other. How is she still your fiancee/still in contact with you to be physically abusive?
Sorry dude, but it sounds like your culture sucks to live in.
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EDIT: Not worthy of a post on its own, but damn, its annoying that my fiancee is physically abusive. WTF?
The initiation of the use of force is immoral and people who do it should be ostracized.
Why do I even have to say this?!?!
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Should you fuck people you are ostracizing? Maybe just not make them cum or something.
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Should you fuck people you are ostracizing?
I can't imagine my cock getting hard for someone like that.
Maybe just not make them cum or something.
Not fucking them is the easiest way to do that it seems.
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How about jacking off on their tits?
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How about jacking off on their tits?
Then snap her on the clit with a rubber band.
ouch!!
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Should you fuck people you are ostracizing? Maybe just not make them cum or something.
That seems to be in full effect already.. didn't Dio say that non-Jewish women were OK to fuck but not marry?
What makes this more complicated is that in the hospital, I resigned myself to a breakup, and at the same time, found a very hot nympho in the same floor who does modeling on the side. She isn't Jewish, so there isn't a shot at anything permanent, but, she fulfills a vacuum of need.
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didn't Dio say that non-Jewish women were OK to fuck but not marry?
[
I'd have to agree with him on that, but I would say the same thing about Jewish women as well.
Marriage is just silly, in general. I dont care if people do it, not my business. I just dont get it.
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didn't Dio say that non-Jewish women were OK to fuck but not marry?
[
I'd have to agree with him on that, but I would say the same thing about Jewish women as well.
Marriage is just silly, in general. I dont care if people do it, not my business. I just dont get it.
Agreed.
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I wonder if her being physically abusive has anything to do with the restrictive culture that she lives in. I know I'd be frustrated...probably not physically abusive, but frustrated. In any case, if someone attacks me, I don't really care if they have a penis or not. I'm going to fight back if I think I can subdue them easily or GTFO otherwise. If a girl I was dating started attacking me, I'd throw her the fuck out and move on. I guess that's harder to do when your dating pool consists of <1% of the population or whatever it is, so I guess you should figure out what works for you. However, the worst possible decision is to let her get away with physically abusing you. As alaric89 said, it will NOT get better.
Well thank you all for the advice on not taking abuse, but with the way the world works, I would be the bad guy if I was the instigator, or defending myself. Not that that matters now.
Yixil, we started to become physical after it became clear the relationship wouldn't materialize, and kept it up for a while afterwords.
We were not virgins, and nobody jumped anybody.
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Should you fuck people you are ostracizing? Maybe just not make them cum or something.
That seems to be in full effect already.. didn't Dio say that non-Jewish women were OK to fuck but not marry?
What makes this more complicated is that in the hospital, I resigned myself to a breakup, and at the same time, found a very hot nympho in the same floor who does modeling on the side. She isn't Jewish, so there isn't a shot at anything permanent, but, she fulfills a vacuum of need.
Both women are sinful to have sex with. I am not one to play with apologetics, and I'll be the first to admit that what I am doing is wrong.
That girl and I resolved tonight to have an open relationship. The fiancee and I resolved tonight to officially break up.
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Is it sinful to just jack off on their tits.
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Masturbation is in of itself sinful.
Update: Chicks are fucking psycho!
Since I left the hospital, I officially broke up with the fiancee. It happened in stages. I first tried to console her, tell her that things would be alright. She cried a lot. Blamed me for things beyond my control, etc. She said "we need to talk Sunday." I took it to mean it would be a breakup. We talked in a nice 4 star hotel in midtown. Then we had copious amounts of sex. As it turns out, little was resolved besides that my penis feels warm and pulsating inside of her. After an absurd amount of sex, crying, consoling, and other rounds of sex, we fell asleep near morning. We woke up and had a few more rounds, and only missed checkout by a few minutes. We promised to do more talking later.I took her shopping for bras. She was uncomfortable, but I was happy as a pig im mud having her model underoos.
The more talking we do is over at my place. She comes to Monsey, prepped to make shabbat. The organization, the meals, etc. its all her, and she delivers. But the nature of our relationship is left to be resolved, and she is freaking out on me accusing me of sleeping with other women. And shit like that. Things still feel unresolved.
The accusations of infidelity burn me. The relationship was disintegriting. When I cqlled her 4 times to arange some movers to get it out, she didnt answer, instead pawning off a friend. That annoys me. Makew me want to be a bick, and go through the friend ANYWAYS BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS PURILE!
Then there is the smart hot nyph;. Were made for each other, in manty ways. The Dumb Nympho turns to be a gold digger, so fuck her. Didnt put out any on our date. We had a date with 4 peope, the model and her other bf, the one thqat isnt me spent their time together. Me and the dancer tore o the floor though.
Earlier on, I had sex with the model after a night of heavy drtinking, and watching when harry met sally
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Update: Chicks are fucking psycho!
Umm, no....psycho would be you, for taking part in this entire charade while judging everyone for their sexuality but yourself. They're bitches/sluts/hoes/nymphos/whatever for wanting to sleep with you, but you're pure as the driven snow no matter what you do. Even if you feel bad about it, you're better than them and therefore deserve to marry better because they have failed according to the standards that you yourself don't even try to uphold. Right?
Go fuck yourself. Seriously, and spare all of the women of the world the bother of dealing with your moronic hypocritical douchebaggery. Unless you are actually trolling, in which case....well, the same advice applies. Where the fuck you get off judging the sanity or morality of anyone else in this world, I have no idea.
/Rillion out
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But Rillion you just got back in? Don't be out.
Dio, you sound drunk as Richard III.
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Masturbation is your friend Dio.
I hate to agree with Rillian but your hypocrisy that actually does harm to people goes against all that I believe in. I find people who do nothing more for their religion then use it as a excuse for their own evil repugnant. If god fills heaven with do-nothing hypocrites it must really suck there.
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(http://chattypics.com/download.php?file=1291773844831_b37zlem86z.jpg)
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But Rillion you just got back in? Don't be out.
Dio, you sound drunk as Richard III.
Yes, indeed.
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I am so thankful that I am not Dio.
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But Rillion you just got back in? Don't be out.
Dio, you sound drunk as Richard III.
I was stoned on Ambien when I wrote that post. Ill rewrite it now that I am clear-minded.
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But Rillion you just got back in? Don't be out.
Dio, you sound drunk as Richard III.
I was stoned on Ambien when I wrote that post. Ill rewrite it now that I am clear-minded.
:)
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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fHDKyLuE4g&feature=related[/youtube]
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Wait wait. The accusations of infidelity burned you, but you were unfaithful, weren't you?
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Update: Chicks are fucking psycho!
Since I left the hospital, I officially broke up with the fiancee. It happened in stages. I first tried to console her, tell her that things would be alright. She cried a lot. Blamed me for things beyond my control, etc. She said "we need to talk Sunday." I took it to mean it would be a breakup. We talked in a nice 4 star hotel in midtown. Then we had copious amounts of sex. As it turns out, little was resolved besides that my penis feels warm and pulsating inside of her. After an absurd amount of sex, crying, consoling, and other rounds of sex, we fell asleep near morning. We woke up and had a few more rounds, and only missed checkout by a few minutes. We promised to do more talking later.I took her shopping for bras. She was uncomfortable, but I was happy as a pig im mud having her model underoos.
The more talking we do is over at my place. She comes to Monsey, prepped to make shabbat. The organization, the meals, etc. its all her, and she delivers. But the nature of our relationship is left to be resolved, and she is freaking out on me accusing me of sleeping with other women. And shit like that. Things still feel unresolved.
The accusations of infidelity burn me. The relationship was disintegriting. When I cqlled her 4 times to arange some movers to get it out, she didnt answer, instead pawning off a friend. That annoys me. Makew me want to be a bick, and go through the friend ANYWAYS BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS PURILE!
Then there is the smart hot nyph;. Were made for each other, in manty ways. The Dumb Nympho turns to be a gold digger, so fuck her. Didnt put out any on our date. We had a date with 4 peope, the model and her other bf, the one thqat isnt me spent their time together. Me and the dancer tore o the floor though.
Earlier on, I had sex with the model after a night of heavy drtinking, and watching when harry met sally
The fiancee and I broke up in stages. First, after leaving the hospital, we arranged a meeting for the following Sunday. What I initially thought would be her breaking up with me, ended up being her getting us a hotel room for the day, and enjoying one another, til checkout time.Since I thought she was going to dump me, so I dropped the anvil on her first. I suggested that we keep in contact but not date for a few months because we both had to work on ourselves.
Later on, when she came over on the Sabbath to my apartment, she wondered "where we were" and I didn't have definitive answers. We started arguing as was becoming way too usual, etc, followed but sex, etc. Then she goes psycho on me, accusing me of cheating on her, etc.
A few nights later, she basically asks me to break up with her. I'm frustrated enough to oblige. We make arrangements, for me to stop getting mail at her place, picking my stuff up from her apartment and all. When I want to confirm everything, she doesn't pick up the phone. Instead, her friend Dina picks up and says she will be there at that time. This is in my view, very immature. She can still pick up a damn phone and have a conversation with someone she broke up with.
The model and I turn out to be absurdly similar. At some point, we go out drinking, and come back to my place. We watch When Harry Met Sally take some Ambien, and fall asleep. We wake up halfway through the night with her on top of me. I ask her if she remembered when we took off our underwear. She doesn't remember. Nor do I. I only remember going to bed in my underwear.
We were all like, uh, do you want to have sex? Yeah, sure.
A few nights later, we go out drinking again. Its me, the model, a common friend we have from the hospital because we were the only young people surrounded by 80-year-olds wheezing into respirators. The common friend is an exotic dancer, and very hot. The model and I already agreed to be friends with benefits, and that I'd be mostly hanging out with the other girl but I didn't know till the last minute that the other guy would be her other guy. I paid attention to my girl and he did to his, except when he left to go to the bathroom, and the model and I would make out. Otherwise I spent the rest of the night drinking, and tearing up the dance floor.
Well, that night i didn't get lucky, and I don't chase a girl for long, so forget her. I did wake up the next morning and discover that I had a nipple piercing. that was interesting.
Its a total departure from who I used to be, and I can't explain it except for he fact that I came out of that hospital a different person. Watching a person having a stroke for 15 minutes can have that effect, I guess.
Since that girl didn't put out, I'm gonna chase after this other one I know. Totally sweet girl that I will invite to dinner in a few nights.
Also, friends in my home-town know about my breakup with the fiancee and are arranging for me to have a few dates while Im there. Ill keep everyone posted.
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You carry on like that in your jew uniform?
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You carry on like that in your jew uniform?
When the fiancee came down from the city, I asked her to bring some of my clothes. Like a baseball cap, sneakers, a t-shirt, and jeans. Total giveaway in her eyes, I guess.
But a t-shirt, sneakers, and jeans is what my bar uniform is.
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Took me a while to figure out Shaw's post. Sharp guy, took me another descriptive post from Dio.
I guess in about 10 months or so we will all learn why religions made certain customs. Some were practical at the time and others should be considered prudent for any old time.
Some leader, way back, probably figured people wouldn't stop doing stupid things because they were dangerous, but they would follow rules if they thought they might have something horrible happen to them after they die.
Perhaps someday we will evolve to a point where religion is unnecessary.
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I used to only date Muslim women b/c I could bang the in the ass.
They didn't want their future muslim husbands to know they weren't virgins so vag/sex was out.
It was great, the only drawback was sometimes my wang would smell of human shit.
Oh well, the price you gotta pay I guess.
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Really? I generally wash afterwords.
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So, an update is due.
I am pretty sure I wont be able to get those two girls into a threesome with me.
One is away anyways, and isn't all too interested in me sexually, it seems. The other does like me, and I her. The one who likes me also dumped her other guy. Shes a staunch atheist, and might be waiting it out in the friend zone (or fb zone) to see if I ever become unreligious so she can have me. I don't know what to make of that.
Its because I don't know where I see myself now. I'm learning more than before, and performing more religious acts than I used to, but at the same time, I'm spending a lot more time doing some pretty unholy things with my summer.
That's the report for the nonjewish girls. With the Jewish girls, I have a dinner coming up with one girl. Totally cute, and a bit of a nut. I like her company, but she is off the table as far as I am concerned, now that she's engaged. I just like her company.
With the religious dating, things are a bit complicated. I've told everyone I know who matches people up that I am back on the market, even though some have voiced that its too soon. It might have turned into a compulsion at this point. I can't tell.
After the sabbath I will date a Persian girl, at the insistence of my rabbi. Other than her, there is a Persian girl in another town I am supposed to meet, and a Turkish girl set up by friends within a week of one another. Then back here, there are another 2-3 girls on the docket.
Lets hope someone works out.
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Do something dangerous, like eating a cheeseburger.
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Do something dangerous, like eating a cheeseburger.
Har har. No.
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So let me get this straight.. its fine and dandy to break your own rules as long as you are hurting other people, but an absolute no-no when it hurts no-one.
How can a libertarian be Jewish with that standard?
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So let me get this straight.. its fine and dandy to break your own rules as long as you are hurting other people, but an absolute no-no when it hurts no-one.
How can a libertarian be Jewish with that standard?
Breaking any rules is wrong. I'll be the first to admit that. I will admit that what I am doing is wrong.
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Committing fraud is wrong according to the NAP.
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Committing fraud is wrong according to the NAP.
who is comit ting fraud?
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Dio. He is pretending to follow Orthodox rules defrauding the matchmakers and the Jewish girls he is set up with. When his ex- fiance allowed his cock into her sweet Jewish pussy she thought he was something he wasn't. Isn't she now scarlet or some stupid shit?
I support you religious people against the anti- as much as I can. I am a Deist, I know there is a higher power. Just admitting that organised religious people should know they are lying too each other gives me no leg to stand on, especially if you will not follow either libertarian or your own religious principles.
You'll find I follow my principles very closely, or I would simply find different ones. Why have principles if you don't follow them?
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I know there is a higher power.
(http://images.wikia.com/wikiality/images/c/c7/BlankSnowyOrlyOwl.jpg)
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I know that I don't know and that I'm open to ideas. :)
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Dio. He is pretending to follow Orthodox rules defrauding the matchmakers and the Jewish girls he is set up with. When his ex- fiance allowed his cock into her sweet Jewish pussy she thought he was something he wasn't. Isn't she now scarlet or some stupid shit?
I support you religious people against the anti- as much as I can. I am a Deist, I know there is a higher power. Just admitting that organised religious people should know they are lying too each other gives me no leg to stand on, especially if you will not follow either libertarian or your own religious principles.
You'll find I follow my principles very closely, or I would simply find different ones. Why have principles if you don't follow them?
Do I follow Orthodoxy? I do, and I don't, mostly do. Maybe I give off the impression that I am more religious than I am to girls I date.
The ex and I mutually share our digressions. She and I both knew who we were back then. She doesn't become a harlot or anything because of me. I'll get back to that point later tho.
alaric, don't think that it sits well with me either. It doesn't.
One thing I never understood about other guys is their desire to find a girl who is a virgin if they themselves are not. Why would they have a standard for others that they themselves wouldn't hold by? I wouldn't mind marrying a girl who isn't a virgin because I myself am not one. So, I didn't take this girls virginity, and I wouldn't have, but I don't think any less of her for having had sex.
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Went out on a date with a Persian girl last night. She was pleasant. Date went smoothly.
Don't think much will come of it because we have different religious philosophies. I think the matchmaker only went so far as to think that "He's Persian, She's Persian. It must be a match!"
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I know that I don't know and that I'm open to ideas. :)
I have no wish to hijack the thread. How about I say it this way. I have seen evidence, and survived some events that convince me to believe in a higher power of some sort. Atheism is a bit too uncompromising for my taste. My religion is pretty much libertarianism with a reasoned fascination for the wonders of nature. If you're curious here be a link.http://www.deism.com/index.html (http://www.deism.com/index.html) In a practical sense it is so compatible with libertarian principles that I seldom have a reason to mention it. When discussing religion though, I think it is more honest to admit my own beliefs.
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I know that I don't know and that I'm open to ideas. :)
I have no wish to hijack the thread. How about I say it this way. I have seen evidence, and survived some events that convince me to believe in a higher power of some sort. Atheism is a bit too uncompromising for my taste. My religion is pretty much libertarianism with a reasoned fascination for the wonders of nature. If you're curious here be a link.http://www.deism.com/index.html (http://www.deism.com/index.html) In a practical sense it is so compatible with libertarian princepals that I seldom have a reason to mention it. When discussing religion though, I think it is more honest to admit my own beliefs.
Interesting, I'm pretty similar in that I take a deistic/pantheistic/historic approach toward judaism.
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I have seen evidence, and survived some events that convince me to believe in a higher power of some sort.
Repeatably testable, non-anecdotal evidence?
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Nope. Couldn't talk my little sister into letting me carry her up that cliff again.
But in my more logical mind I have noticed how lucky so many evil fucks seem to be, they don't always make their own luck.
Ever notice how luck seems to come in fazes when playing poker?
Good people have a tendency to die young.
Charisma confuses me, it makes no sense just using evolutionary argument. Some people can somehow feed off of and enhance other peoples psychic energy.
Some are the opposite, sometimes its the same person at different points in their life.
The downfalls and miracle comebacks of some celebrities. Inexplicable patterns in life fazes of people
and patterns in nature.
The Unique chemistry of water.
Since I am a fabricator I just don't think chaos can work out so slick. I have never left a pile of steel laying around and had it turn itself into something useful and organised.
It is personal feeling as well. I think a Deist is a atheist who has had too many close calls to abandon spiritual unknowns.
I have also noticed many extreme sports heroes are not Atheist.
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I understand that personal experiences have an emotional weight and can be very convincing.
That's all the more reason to put it to the test to be sure.
If you can't replicate the event (Or you have no testable physical evidence left behind) you can't claim to have real knowledge.
Climbing Mount Sinai and talking to bushes will not result in bushes talking back, let alone bursting into flames. You can go there and try it as many times as you like.
<<<Not trying to bust religious people's balls here.
My only beef is religious people who start using the language of science and then refuse to acknowledge some of the simplest tenants of it.
Creationism comes to mind. Don't talk to me and try to poke holes in evolution when you are trying to make the claim for creationism. Provide the evidence in favor of creationism. Telling me all about complex systems not coming from simple scenarios because of the Second Law of Thermodynamics (Which has nothing to do with anything but fucking heat and radiation and pressure and shit tending to equilibrate.) causing all things fall apart rather than assemble or some nonsense irritates the shit outta me.
Tell me you have faith and I'll respect you. (If not your faith itself.) Tell me you believe it and you have no evidence and you know it and I'll say "I disagree, but if you aren't hurting me and you accept "No" for an answer when ya ask for a few minutes of my time to talk about the future of my immortal soul we're cool."
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A last point I forgot to mention is, according to the scientists who figured out human evolution, that thoughtful speculation about existence, meaning and death is one reason homo sapiens won the earth. There were a whole bunch of upright walking, smart monkeys. The one type still around was the religious one. Not a good argument for the existence of god, just a point for the importance of religions existence.
There is no reason for me to be evangelistic to a libertarian, since the goals are identical to a deist anyway. Deism is only worth mentioning to somebody doing stupid things because of beliefs in some hypocritical bible god. I do like explaining why I believe anyway though.
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Not a good argument for the existence of god, just a point for the importance of religions existence.
Historically yes.
Religion was useful historically. It is an antiquated attempt to explain the meaning of our lives based on the very limited knowledge of primitive tribes, and just like any other incomplete or flawed idea, it's slowly going away, thankfully.
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I can't argue with that. Now what do we do with all these people who claim to be a religion and then deny all the rules, reasons or history of that religion.
This confuses my teeny tiny brain.
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I can't argue with that. Now what do we do with all these people who claim to be a religion and then deny all the rules, reasons or history of that religion.
This confuses my teeny tiny brain.
Now you're talking Final Solution type stuff.
How about you just don't do anything with them. Let them live their life and leave them alone except for commerce purposes. Mind your own business and let them mind theirs.
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Good god. I meant in discussions. How would you try to get anywhere in a conversation with someone who says "I am a Christian except for believing in that whole Christ thing." Why are you always trying to find racism where their isn't any?
I consistently bust on inconsistency, its just easy with religious people. Its actually easier with Christians, but none are around at the moment. Next time Gene goes on a rant help him out against the likes of me and Shaw.
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Good god. I meant in discussions. How would you try to get anywhere in a conversation with someone who says "I am a Christian except for believing in that whole Christ thing." Why are you always trying to find racism where their isn't any?
I consistently bust on inconsistency, its just easy with religious people. Its actually easier with Christians, but none are around at the moment. Next time Gene goes on a rant help him out against the likes of me and Shaw.
Why would I help him out? I don't agree with him.
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I understand that personal experiences have an emotional weight and can be very convincing.
That's all the more reason to put it to the test to be sure.
If you can't replicate the event (Or you have no testable physical evidence left behind) you can't claim to have real knowledge.
Climbing Mount Sinai and talking to bushes will not result in bushes talking back, let alone bursting into flames. You can go there and try it as many times as you like.
<<<Not trying to bust religious people's balls here.
My only beef is religious people who start using the language of science and then refuse to acknowledge some of the simplest tenants of it.
Creationism comes to mind. Don't talk to me and try to poke holes in evolution when you are trying to make the claim for creationism. Provide the evidence in favor of creationism. Telling me all about complex systems not coming from simple scenarios because of the Second Law of Thermodynamics (Which has nothing to do with anything but fucking heat and radiation and pressure and shit tending to equilibrate.) causing all things fall apart rather than assemble or some nonsense irritates the shit outta me.
Tell me you have faith and I'll respect you. (If not your faith itself.) Tell me you believe it and you have no evidence and you know it and I'll say "I disagree, but if you aren't hurting me and you accept "No" for an answer when ya ask for a few minutes of my time to talk about the future of my immortal soul we're cool."
Lets put the theory that a giant asteroid killed the dinosaurs into the equation. Is it repeatedly testable? Why use a different standard for things we assume are correct than things we don't?
Well, who doubts that theory?
Since science is a topic, lets have an atheistic apologist explain how they can reconcile their beliefs with the big bang. I have yet to hear an atheist explain how they can believe in the big bang when it goes against one of the tenants of their belief system.
Creationism is wrong. The world is billions of years old.
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The other day, I had to pick up a transcript from my ex-fiancees apartment. I didn't recognize her at the door. She had a sexy new haircut, was wearing makeup/earrings, and heels. I never saw her like that in the time we were dating. We talked a bit in her apartment, and she invited me to coffee. From the coffee shop, we went to a bar. I got blitzed to the point where I lost it in a taxi that night.
That led us to having sex in an alley in Manhattan next to a sidewalk. We put the half of our clothes we didn't rip off back on when we found a used hypodermic syringe on the ground next to us. This inspired us to go to her apartment, where we again had sex. This time in the hallway because her roommate could wake up. I left at daybreak.
When I got back home I started pregaming my hangover away with some beer while waiting for the model to come to my place. She bailed on me last minute, so I called up an old girlie to set up a preliminary time for a date in the near future.
I also have a tentative religious date in a few days.
Nothing else to report.
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Sex with the ex and some waiting on the side.
High five. 8)
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Lets put the theory that a giant asteroid killed the dinosaurs into the equation. Is it repeatedly testable? Why use a different standard for things we assume are correct than things we don't?
Well, who doubts that theory?
Lots of scientists doubt the asteroid impact theory, actually.
The asteroid impact theory is one of several possible explanations. There is repeatably testable evidence, here it is:
The asteroid theory is one of many, but yes, you can dig down to layers of rock from the Cretaceous/Tertiary boundary, everywhere on Earth, and find levels of Iridium 30 times higher than anywhere else. Those levels of iridium can only come from two places, from a space rock or from deep down near the Earth's core, deeper than most volcanic rock. If you go anywhere on Earth and dig down to that level, the iridium is there. The entire Earth go sprinkled with it at some point between the Cretaceous/Tertiary periods. You can test this repeatedly and anywhere on the planet.
No, we can't whack the Earth repeatedly, but yes, you can repeatedly test for evidence.
Impact ejecta is also common in the Cretaceous/Tertiary layers. That's beads or lumps of melted rock. All over the planet. This can and has been repeatedly tested all over the world.
Shocked quartz, something that can only be generated by high-energy impacts or explosions, is common in the Cretaceous/Tertiary layers. Repeatedly testable.
The Yucatan peninsula crater is 150km wide at dates to that era. Big enough to cause that damage. Obviously there's only one of it, so no, you can't find more than one example.
The fossil record abruptly changes at the Cretaceous/Tertiary layers.
There are other theories, again. There is evidence that changes in plant life, when all the gymnosperm plants started giving out to the rapid growth of angiosperm plants. There's evidence that one sort of food went mostly away while another food became plentiful. A type of food that herbivorous dinosaurs couldn't eat. Veggie dinos - Veggies = No food for meaty dinos either. Rapid food chain issues.
There is also the theory that dinosaurs are still running around and flying around right now, and that they are now called "Birds".
Science isn't required to have certain answers. It is required to put forth as much evidence as it can to support a theory and see if it fits the model.
Since science is a topic, lets have an atheistic apologist explain how they can reconcile their beliefs with the big bang. I have yet to hear an atheist explain how they can believe in the big bang when it goes against one of the tenants of their belief system.
I am not an atheistic apologist.
Nevertheless, the "Big bang" is a slang phrase that has no particular meaning. The real deal in regards to the big bang is this - The universe is expanding. You can repeatably test this. Everywhere you look, every single piece of matter in the universe is shifted toward the red. The Doppler effect is repeatably testable. Things moving toward you visibly (Depending on relative speed) shift toward the color blue, things moving away shift toward the red. Everything in the universe is shifted toward the red.
This means that if you go back far enough in time, it is likely that everything in the universe came from a single point in space and has expanded outward and continues to do so.
That's all we know. Science makes NO claims about what happened before that, how it happened, or what caused the rapid expansion.
The Big Bang model, or theory, is the prevailing cosmological theory of the early development of the universe. The theory purports to explain some of the earliest events in the universe. According to the theory, the universe was once in an extremely hot and dense state that expanded rapidly (a "Big Bang"). As there is little consensus among physicists about the origins of the universe, the Big Bang theory explains only that such a rapid expansion caused the young universe to cool and resulted in its present continuously expanding state.
If anyone claiming to use science as their toolset says anything other than "I don't know" in response to the question "Where did everything come from." they are full of shit. The same could be said even more strongly of a religious person. I don't know where the universe came from. Neither do you. I know that at one point it was itty bitty and got bigger. I don't know why. Neither do you.
Generally speaking, it is the religious person who claims they know for certain. The scientist of any worth never claims 100% knowledge.
Creationism is wrong. The world is billions of years old.
I have no idea what this means.
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umm... didn't someone make a point of starting a new thread so this one can be kept for Dio's penthouse letter rough drafts?
Dio, more adjectives and adverbs. The facts of the story are compelling but it failed to suck me in.
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umm... didn't someone make a point of starting a new thread so this one can be kept for Dio's penthouse letter rough drafts?
Dio, more adjectives and adverbs. The facts of the story are compelling but it failed to suck me in.
Agreed.
Dio, you must phrase things lustily..
"The slick, wet, still-dripping hypodermic syringe" is far more sexy than your vanilla G-Rated spew.
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*sigh* I don't think I believe your dating rant to be true anymore. Too much normal ass hole frat boy to find it interesting. So really even if what you've said happened did I don't care to see it. I was so compelled for so long- hell I barely do anything on the bbs but read this thread and talk about motorcycle and now as far as this goes eh. That makes me sad. :cry:
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There was whats being called a baby boom among the alumni of my yeshiva recently. Within 72 hours or so, 4 guys had kids. Those little guys are going to grow up together as best friends, since most of my friends live within a few blocks of one another.
In other news, I am still single. The friends I have that were married first have little rugrats running around their houses. I get invited over for meals on the sabbath all the time, and you better believe it that these kids are going to get picked up, and thrown around. It gets to the point where if I don't show up, they're dissapointed, and when I do, they run over to me, and throw their little arms around my knee, asking me to pick them up.
I love little kids. They have yet to absorb the cynicism and duplicity of adulthood. It all comes to mind because I just received this in the mail:
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/844/20110811201000.jpg/
At passover, I promised my friends little daughter a jawbreaker if she made a really funny face at me. I recently found a jawbreaker, one the size of a softball, and mailed it to her, and her mother had her send me a thank you note for the gift.
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:D
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A bunch of updates, and I don't know how to organize them, so it'll be bullet points in rough chronological order.
-I shore off my beard, but kept my hair growing. I never had enough to slick it back before.
-I was in a restaurant, and saw my ex come in with a guy. I left then and there, but in a breakfast we had together later she said that that guy bored her, but the new guy didn't. The new guy is taller, smarter, and more accomplished than I am. Awesome. She has so moved on. I don't think I have. :(
-Finally date the Persian girl in Los Angeles, and it was a disaster. She was really pretty, but thats not enough to make things work.
-I was denied the date with the Turkish girl because the people who were going to vouch for me retracted their support because "I'm in a transitional stage at the moment." She sounded too religious for me anyways. Sad though, because her family had connections to my connections.
-I started slicking my hair back, and shaved the beard into a goatee before Succot. The same friend who said she retracted support for my date with the Turkish girl had the house I stayed at for the beginning of the holiday. She had seen my public intention to grow dreadlocks (longest hair I had ever had) posted on facebook, and said I would be shooting myself in the foot, dating-wise if I grew them. I shaved my head after that.
-A girl I was hanging out with, and I know I shouldn't casually hang out with girls, did this to me:
(http://img600.imageshack.us/img600/747/biteo.jpg) (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/600/biteo.jpg/)
Uploaded with ImageShack.us (http://imageshack.us)
Its one nasty bitemark. The Scratches on my wrist left scars. All this for a joke she didn't like.
-The stripper girl keeps calling me when she's drunk, reminding me that she moved to within a few miles of me, and wants me to hang out with her, and her work friends. She is very tempting.
-The model girl and I communicate all the time. We're compatible, she likes my sense of humor, Shes smart, and shes covered in tattoos. I'm smitten. It's a shame she isn't Jewish.
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It's a shame she isn't Jewish.
Dude wtf.
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Its one nasty bitemark. The Scratches on my wrist left scars. All this for a joke she didn't like.
That's effed up dude. I'd uh- stay clear of that one.
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It's a shame she isn't Jewish.
Dude wtf.
Hear ye, hear ye.
Let it be known to all that I shall make no remark.
Proceed.
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It's a shame she isn't Jewish.
Dude wtf.
Would you date or marry a tried and true fascist/socialist/statist that worked for the government and had no intentions of changing (or your own religion prevents you from attempting to change them)?
Why not?
Why should you care if people have preferences for their choice in significant other?
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Why should you care if people have preferences for their choice in significant other?
You are right, my bad. I don't know, it just seems odd to me that you can't date girls that aren't Jewish.
I guess it shouldn't seem odd since I have a hard time dating girls who aren't atheists.
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Why should you care if people have preferences for their choice in significant other?
You are right, my bad. I don't know, it just seems odd to me that you can't date girls that aren't Jewish.
I guess it shouldn't seem odd since I have a hard time dating girls who aren't atheists.
Well, I for one don't see a problem with that. Everyone has their preferences, and everyone wants to be with others like themselves.
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It's just amusing when someone artificially restricts their options to fruitcakes, and then complains when they are nutty.
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Why should you care if people have preferences for their choice in significant other?
You are right, my bad. I don't know, it just seems odd to me that you can't date girls that aren't Jewish.
I guess it shouldn't seem odd since I have a hard time dating girls who aren't atheists.
No dude you are right. Do not try and analyze this thread. Dio is on the road to nowhere and if you want proof just read the whole thread. I have never seen anyone so smart document their own self destruction so well and amusingly.
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Why should you care if people have preferences for their choice in significant other?
You are right, my bad. I don't know, it just seems odd to me that you can't date girls that aren't Jewish.
I guess it shouldn't seem odd since I have a hard time dating girls who aren't atheists.
No dude you are right. Do not try and analyze this thread. Dio is on the road to nowhere and if you want proof just read the whole thread. I have never seen anyone so smart document their own self destruction so well and amusingly.
+1!!
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I went out to lunch with a friend of mine to a pizza shop he frequents. He faced the owner, and I took a back to her.
The lady started asking questions.
So, are you single?
I am, I said.
How old are you?
26.
Well, its a strange thing, but in the Jewish world, theres this form of familiarity you get with other religious Jews. It has its pluses when you want to hitchhike across town, but you're very often going to get asked very oddly personal questions by people you have never met before.
In this case, a woman I had never met before begins grilling me while I'm having lunch to see if I am a fit for any of her daughters friends. Another odd thing about it is that you still want to put your best face on, because this is the kind of thing that gets you dates, so I sat there, feeling as if I were being hit on by a stranger in her mid 40's.
I gave her all my contact info.
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Six months since the last update, and I have nothing cool to report.
-The girl that bit me from above is now married.
-My ex-fiancee dated a guy seriously, and he broke it off with her. She's still at the same place in life as when I dated her last. She still has an attitude towards me. Last few times we spoke, she was, as usual, condescendingly.
-The Stripper called me, drunk, a bunch of times and invited me to a hotel with her coworkers for fun. I was never able to make it, and I don't know how much I wanted to go. Frankly, I'm glad she moved back to her dads house on the other side of the country.
-The Model is now in an exclusive relationship with some other dude. Fuck damnit. She did this after a set of circumstances didn't let her vacation over here at my town. She had a weekend planned out and everything. She had a 4 star hotel on tab, along with alcohol, and I needed was a car to get there.
This makes me a whore, coming to think of it. A real life man whore. The fact that more than one woman has gotten, or offered to take me to a hotel, but wouldn't commit to a relationship. That's kinda depressing.
All the drinking, taking girls out, getting a nipple piercing, etc.....Well, between that, and not being able to make it back to college so soon after my hospitalization, and everything. I've lost my savings. Business isn't going well either. It was a shitty time, and continues to be. In the beginning I prayed a lot, but don't much anymore. Had to readjust my living a lot. I still keep kosher and shabbat, but its difficult praying to a G-d you don't think is listening to you.
Given all this, I turned to the last vestige to the lonely: internet dating. It deserves a post of its own.
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It's just amusing when someone artificially restricts their options to fruitcakes, and then complains when they are nutty.
Well put. I realized when he said "6 month update" in the post above that I must not read this thread very often. Wonder why (snore).
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Six months since the last update, and I have nothing cool to report.
-The girl that bit me from above is now married.
-My ex-fiancee dated a guy seriously, and he broke it off with her. She's still at the same place in life as when I dated her last. She still has an attitude towards me. Last few times we spoke, she was, as usual, condescendingly.
-The Stripper called me, drunk, a bunch of times and invited me to a hotel with her coworkers for fun. I was never able to make it, and I don't know how much I wanted to go. Frankly, I'm glad she moved back to her dads house on the other side of the country.
-The Model is now in an exclusive relationship with some other dude. Fuck damnit. She did this after a set of circumstances didn't let her vacation over here at my town. She had a weekend planned out and everything. She had a 4 star hotel on tab, along with alcohol, and I needed was a car to get there.
This makes me a whore, coming to think of it. A real life man whore. The fact that more than one woman has gotten, or offered to take me to a hotel, but wouldn't commit to a relationship. That's kinda depressing.
All the drinking, taking girls out, getting a nipple piercing, etc.....Well, between that, and not being able to make it back to college so soon after my hospitalization, and everything. I've lost my savings. Business isn't going well either. It was a shitty time, and continues to be. In the beginning I prayed a lot, but don't much anymore. Had to readjust my living a lot. I still keep kosher and shabbat, but its difficult praying to a G-d you don't think is listening to you.
Given all this, I turned to the last vestige to the lonely: internet dating. It deserves a post of its own.
I love your posts James Dio - keeping it real brother....Rock on!
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If one is smart they listen to God.
Or I could put it in the context of a Deist. What makes more sense: to read what the universe is telling you and act accordingly or expect the universe to listen to you?
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If one is smart they listen to God.
Or I could put it in the context of a Deist. What makes more sense: to read what the universe is telling you and act accordingly or expect the universe to listen to you?
If the universe is god, then the term has no meaning. You could just say universe and leave the faux-spirituality out of it.
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1. Some sort of spiritual existence has proved itself to me to my satisfaction. It is easier to convert a Christian to Atheism than a Deist.
2. I am not arrogant enough to be a Atheist. To be one you have to think you know everything.
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1. Some sort of spiritual existence has proved itself to me to my satisfaction. It is easier to convert a Christian to Atheism than a Deist.
2. I am not arrogant enough to be a Atheist. To be one you have to think you know everything.
You don't have to think you know everything to be an atheist. You believe there is a god, but you don't know there's a god, do you? I believe there's no god, but I don't know there's no god. I don't think that's an arrogant position. I've just looked around and come to a different conclusion than you.
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1. Some sort of spiritual existence has proved itself to me to my satisfaction. It is easier to convert a Christian to Atheism than a Deist.
2. I am not arrogant enough to be a Atheist. To be one you have to think you know everything.
You don't have to think you know everything to be an atheist. You believe there is a god, but you don't know there's a god, do you? I believe there's no god, but I don't know there's no god. I don't think that's an arrogant position. I've just looked around and come to a different conclusion than you.
Exactly. To the same extent I dont know 100% if leprechauns arent real. But I'm not seeing any evidence for them, and the people who believe in them dont seem to bring credible proof forward. The idea of leprechauns existing seems to be at odds with the rest of what I know about earth and its creatures. Thus, I do not believe in leprechauns.
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I had a blast from the past recently. I was visiting my old town, and catching up with some friends there.
One girl I knew from there moved back after living a few years in the midwest.
The story goes that we hung out a lot back in the day, especially considering that she was from a chassidic background.
But before I muster up enough courage to do anything about the crush I had for her, she gets engaged. I met the guy and he was a bit weird to talk to. We just had too many similar interests, senses of humor to get beyond a cursory conversation. I also didn't want to introduce myself to him as the guy who would get drunk with his fiancee, and crash on her bed. I also remember hating him for no real reason.
They get married, I move across the country, and she gets a divorce just as I move back to the same area. Now she has two little kids. I knew most of this already from facebook, but found it out for real over coffee.
Alceric, was this G-d talking to me? Hell, I don't know just how much she likes me, and as much as I love kids, I don't know if I could raise someone elses children.
I also made the stupid mistake of calling my ex over skype to get some stuff back. I don't really want it, but it was useful to get a conversation going. Since I left, nothing has changed in her life. Except the guy she was seriously dating before that dumped her is about to propose to her again. For no reason besides spite, I hope he isn't able to ever give her an orgasm like I did.
Shes the same condescending, bitter person I remember her as. I don't know why I still want her.
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Is Alceric me?
I think I like fellow Deist MWD of Freedom Feens fame's definition best. Think of "God" as the being who made the universe user friendly. I am pretty sure no deity is concerned about your love life. I am pretty sure that Bill Gates isn't going to concern himself with what you are doing with any Microsoft product you might use.
My opinion is that raising other peoples kids is probably just as rewarding and difficult as raising your own kids, I doubt there is a lick of difference. Except that if the father has the kids sometimes, then one can get a break now and then.
I do think divorced women can be a problem though. Once burned twice shy and all that. If you really are similar in temperament to husband mark I this is a bad sign. At the very least talk to the lady about why she got divorced, if you intuitively start to feel for the dude.....RUN!
1. Some sort of spiritual existence has proved itself to me to my satisfaction. It is easier to convert a Christian to Atheism than a Deist.
2. I am not arrogant enough to be a Atheist. To be one you have to think you know everything.
You don't have to think you know everything to be an atheist. You believe there is a god, but you don't know there's a god, do you? I believe there's no god, but I don't know there's no god. I don't think that's an arrogant position. I've just looked around and come to a different conclusion than you.
Exactly. To the same extent I dont know 100% if leprechauns arent real. But I'm not seeing any evidence for them, and the people who believe in them dont seem to bring credible proof forward. The idea of leprechauns existing seems to be at odds with the rest of what I know about earth and its creatures. Thus, I do not believe in leprechauns.
If I saw a leprechaun I would say they existed.
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If the universe is god, then the term has no meaning. You could just say universe and leave the faux-spirituality out of it.
If we are a part of the consciousness of the universe and it is actually thinking, on some level, then it has motivations and goals just as we do, and figuring out how my motivations and goals mesh with its' might prove beneficial to both of us. It's more than "I'm intimately connected with everything else". That does actually mean something in the bigger scheme of things, at least in my belief. I'm fine with people not agreeing or believing the same thing, but it's not "faux".
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If the universe is god, then the term has no meaning. You could just say universe and leave the faux-spirituality out of it.
If we are a part of the consciousness of the universe and it is actually thinking, on some level, then it has motivations and goals just as we do, and figuring out how my motivations and goals mesh with its' might prove beneficial to both of us. It's more than "I'm intimately connected with everything else". That does actually mean something in the bigger scheme of things, at least in my belief. I'm fine with people not agreeing or believing the same thing, but it's not "faux".
Ok, I'm a firm believer in the Invisible Hand. That doesn't have anything to do with religion, though.
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Is this still a dating rant thread?
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Is this still a dating rant thread?
What else would you call it?
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I looked through some of the more recent posts and some don't have a whole lot to do with dating.
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I dated a girl once....
My friend, Kevin, said man how can you wanna be with her?
She's so skinny you can't see her if she's just on the other side of a telephone pole...I told him he didn't know shit.
Naked, Goddamn! She was fucking perfect, I'm talking all the curves in all the right places....
Nice tits, sweet ass, small waist...beautiful lips both upstairs and downstairs... Her eyes are fucking lakes of passion...
Unlike Al, I like to eat the monkey! If it smells like fish then she should wash. I can tell you....most girl's pussy don't stink. Most are the bomb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love Pussy! Like to lick it, touch it, hum on it, rub it, breathe on it, rub my eyelashes on it, touch it with my knee, stick my finger close to in....
Oh shit, Pussy Rules the fucking Planet! Am I wrong?
No, Fuck I'm right! I'm a monkey for her monkey! Am I right? OH FUCK
What can I say? I married the bitch, and she's a bitch don't get me wrong assholes. You gotta live with a motherfucker to know what it means./ Peace Out!
Hang On To Your Life - The Guess Who (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QiFKQgDmgw#)
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Haven't you been married for a long time? What is your secret?
Or is it being good at rug munching?
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I looked through some of the more recent posts and some don't have a whole lot to do with dating.
I don't like deleting other peoples posts.
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You really should clean up that "who's hotter" thread though. That thing is a goddamn mess.
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A year ago my university set up a shadchan meeting. It was like speed-dating, except with matchmakers. I met a bunch, and nothing came of it. One recommended that I fill out a profile on their website. I did so. again, nothing came of it.
A few weeks ago, someone from that website calls me up and offers to set me up with a girl. She's nice, Persian, 28 (but being older than me doesn't bother me, and lives in Georgia. I agreed to a phone date after we exchanged our resumes.
She was sooooooooooooooo boring. Not one thing that came out of her mouth was an original thought, or outside of the mainstream. I felt bad for her because she lives in the middle of nowhere, where guys would have to travel across the country to meet her, so most wouldn't. Now she's getting older, and probably doesn't want to live far from her family. It just kills her chances of getting married. But she doesn't help herself when she can't list a single hobby besides baking.
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That sounds terrible. Also, I thought they didn't call themselves Persian anymore.
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28 and single. Yeah, you might want to talk to her again and be completely honest about your beliefs and see if she opens up then.
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That sounds terrible. Also, I thought they didn't call themselves Persian anymore.
I've known a couple, and they refer to themselves as Persian.
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The only Persians I know refer to themselves as "Meow".
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That sounds terrible. Also, I thought they didn't call themselves Persian anymore.
I've known a couple, and they refer to themselves as Persian.
Add me to the list. I too am Persian.
Alaric, I kinda don't want her. She's terribly sweet, but I find her boring, and she thinks I'm too "unique" to be with.
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I couldn't argue with her. :lol:
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I feel like I've been eviscerated. Stupid stupid me.
I called my ex, the one I thought I would get married to, and asked her if she would give me a second chance. It was a no. She's been on the dating roller-coaster since I've been gone. Got over me real quick.
Its the first time I've ever cried over a girl before. I wouldn't ask again, so its really truly over. Shame I couldn't get myself to erase her from my phone. It hurts.
So, it looks like I should start dating again.
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I'll update in a little bit.
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I'll update in a little bit.
Do tell.
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But she doesn't help herself when she can't list a single hobby besides baking.
What's wrong with baking?
Sounds like my dream girl. 420! woooooooo!
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Libertarian neckbeards don't get dates they get nasty liberty whores with mental issues. 100 to 1 women in New Hampshire and every guy flocks to any girl that knows the name "Mises" within a 50 mile radius like an Odyssean suitor. God forbid you go streaking down the street naked making false rape accusations against an FTL co-host: http://sexoffenderresearch.blogspot.com/2009/09/nh-police-say-woman-recanted-her-report.html