Nobody has mentioned the fact that piss inspections reserve the right to observe the piss coming out of your goddamn dickhole.
I had a Puerto Rican probation officer. Tiny white boy dick must have been funny.
When I was giving piss for The Man, we had to go behind a one-way window. You could see the guy come in, barely, because of the light behind him.
So I'd pull my dick out like woo-hoo!, unzip all the way. No shyness here. Wag it around a little bit, to get it goin'.
Also, they hate when you fill the cup. So, naturally... Fill the cup.