I guess the first step is to admit that I have a problem...
This problem often manifests itself through uncontrollable urges to write or say (but never do) very angry and violent things directed at the subject of my hatred, almost invariably the state. I've always recognized that the verbal or written expression of this anger was irrational, but until now I've justified it under some sort of a poetic license that I've made up in my head, and that I now wish to renounce.
It was wrong of me to talk about
killing cops,
blowing up capital cities,
etc, because those statements have negative consequences not only for me but also for people in movements I associate myself with. Please don't take this confession as an admission that I was wrong about everything I've ever said, only my violent rants, which I now recognize that I need to stop. Which is not going to be easy, because it's almost like an addiction of sorts - I feel all bottled up before I do it, and I feel better afterwards... I recognize that I need to find better ways of dealing with my emotions.
I accept the responsibility for the stupid violent things I've said and wrote in the past, and I recognize that it was and is logical for some people to ostracize me as the result. I will look for ways to correct my problem -- and it is my problem and no one else's -- and I can only hope to earn their forgiveness someday in the future.