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Author Topic: 'nuther joke forwarded from my Mom  (Read 2985 times)

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sillyperson

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'nuther joke forwarded from my Mom
« on: September 29, 2010, 08:25:43 PM »

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'



'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass  and long legs who agrees with everything I say.' 

dalebert

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Re: 'nuther joke forwarded from my Mom
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2010, 12:03:27 AM »

A really cruel genie would provide the money in pennies.  Then when he went to by a fancy car, he'd be crushed by the pennies.

Riddler

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Re: 'nuther joke forwarded from my Mom
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2010, 08:02:13 AM »

the smart man would have killed that fucking ostrich, made steaks & cowboy boots
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Pizzly

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Re: 'nuther joke forwarded from my Mom
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2010, 08:06:43 PM »

I have looked at this thread a few times and I can't help but wonder what his third wish is, since it is customary to be granted three. I know it says he was offered two, but c'mon no genie offers two wishes.
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Peace isn't loving your neighbor, peace is simply not killing them.

Riddler

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Re: 'nuther joke forwarded from my Mom
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2010, 08:38:01 PM »

pfff
ghetto genies only give you one.
and it gives you three sub-catagorie choices:

bag of stepped-on crank
filthy whore for an hour
1/2 carton of knock-off smokes
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Rillion

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Re: 'nuther joke forwarded from my Mom
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2010, 09:36:57 PM »

The joke is great, but that bird is an emu; not an ostrich. 

/couldn't help it
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dalebert

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Re: 'nuther joke forwarded from my Mom
« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2010, 09:51:56 PM »

the smart man would have killed that fucking ostrich, made steaks & cowboy boots

Hell yeah, especially since he can get an actually hot chick to follow him around and agree with everything he says with all that cash.

Cognitive Dissident

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Re: 'nuther joke forwarded from my Mom
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2010, 02:03:30 PM »

A really cruel genie would provide the money in pennies.  Then when he went to by a fancy car, he'd be crushed by the pennies.

QFT
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