About 13 or 14 years ago, when I was going through Army basic training, to learn the proper way to point a gun at a stranger; I was given "less than 60 god-damned seconds" - from the hallway - to get into the bathroom, do my business and get back into the hallway in the "front leaning rest" position. I don't remember what the punishment would have been, but I was highly motivated and I took the "fastest god-damned shit" that drill sergeant had ever seen - or so he said (it helped that pressure had been building for quite some time - I was desperate to to hit the can; it was like popping the cork from campaign bottle). I remember my o-ring really hurt for a few days after that, probably from forcing it so abruptly - it wasn't a natural thing to do. I do not know what the exact time was, I think it took about 50 seconds total. Probably doesn't really count though - too forced and too unnatural.
One fellar said, "The water's cold" and the other fellar said, "The water's deep". I believe one fella come from Arkansas. Get it?