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Author Topic: Real Estate Agents  (Read 2066 times)

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eVaL

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Real Estate Agents
« on: November 06, 2008, 07:23:46 PM »

K, I'm going to go ahead and make my contribution to this section.

I'm totally prejudice against real estate agents. I've never met one I liked. I think they're way sleazier than used car salesmen are supposed to be. No one acts more nicey-nice than a real estate agent; but, they are pure evil in blazers. And, they lie through their over-bleached teeth.

I have one coming over tomorrow.  I guess someone might buy the whole apt. complex. Bitch has already called me twice to make sure I "don't have any questions!!1!!" ...basically, trying to tell me I need to GTFO when they're going to be here. But, I rearranged my work schedule so that I would be here. Fuck them. There's nothing in my lease that says I have to let strangers traipse through my place whenever they friggin feel like it. Anyhow, if these people don't buy it, I might have to put up with this bullshit until someone does. So, I need to make it clear to this woman that I'm going to be an asshole to deal with, so maybe she'll avoid showing this particular unit in the future. ..probably not, though. Those type-A cunts are relentless.
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[8:18:40 PM] eVaL says: I'm afraid of accidental, sef-induced insanity..
[8:18:52 PM] Taors says: oh, babe
[8:19:00 PM] Taors says: you learn to love it

YixilTesiphon

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Re: Real Estate Agents
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2008, 12:05:44 AM »

Agreed, I've never met one that wasn't slimy. When I was in middle school my parents took me along to look at a house. The master bedroom had a sunporch turned into a woman's dressing room instead. The thing had canary yellow cloth walls, rows of cabinets, and mirrors on everything that wasn't cloth. The mirror right above the chair was slightly tilted, so that all the reflections were a little off-center, like you were nauseous. The dog walked in, put his head down, and skittered out. The real estate's brilliant response to my mom's objection to this room was "Oh, but yellow's coming back!"

Who the fuck does that work on?
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Harry Tuttle

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Re: Real Estate Agents
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2008, 12:10:54 AM »

Realtors always think that "now" is the best time to buy. I've been getting newsletters from one outfit for several years now and used to laugh 2, 3, and 4 years back at how bad a time to buy it was. Of course they were the experts and I didn't know what I was talking about.

Aside from that, they always have their gimmicky little sales crap. I love looking at a place then telling the listing agent. "Wow, I remember back when this was called a loft, not a bedroom", and other things that show that I don't believe their bullcrap.
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hellbilly

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Re: Real Estate Agents
« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2008, 12:33:42 AM »

Agreed.

The guy we had was a prick. Somehow it seemed he thought we were buddies, not sure why, but he began telling me how much money he made, let me in on some of those insider secrets, and was trying to get me to come to work for his agency.

A few months ago when the whole "unqualified loan" fiasco blew out, his agency was shut down. Turns out they were the leading agency in the area to sell houses to people who couldn't pay up. Those cookie-cutter neighborhoods are now half empty and riddled with crime.
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CaL DaVe

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Re: Real Estate Agents
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2008, 12:39:52 AM »

Yeah I have some agents in the family and they totally put on a front when they are on the job. Makes me sick everytime because I know what they are like at home and the shit they talk about their clients.
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Pocho

Taors

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Re: Real Estate Agents
« Reply #5 on: November 07, 2008, 01:46:18 AM »

Real Estate Agents are people who like free money.  Not that I blame them, free money is cool.  But they have very warped perceptions about what their role is in the Real Estate game.  They're two-faced double dippers who will steer you into things you do not want, can't afford, and make promises they cannot keep.  They want to turn a key and make five thousand bucks.  People should always remember it is the allure of free money for little effort that is the reason these people were driven towards this profession in the first place, their goal in life is to do as little as possible and become as wealthy as they can for minimal effort.  

In reality, this is everyones goal.  Would you like to make one penny a year for lifting boulders, or one penny per minute for lifting pebbles?  It extends logically that more money for less effort is the goal for all people who work.  But these people take it beyond all rational limits, and want to make thousands of dollars per day for driving around with a coffee in the cup holder, until you eventually cave and buy the least attractive piece of shit they can find for the maximum sale value, while telling you this is the best thing to ever be constructed by human hands for the amazingly low price they've managed to arrange especially for you.  

I've had the unique privilege in my life of strange and unusual experiences to have sat in on real estate classes.  It boggled my mind the shared characteristics they display, across all walks of life.  They all smile and salivate at the prospect of an extremely easy job where they make mountains of money for doing absolutely nothing.  They are well groomed show-ponies who become sexually aroused at the thought of their name on a business card, Coldwell-Banker is Valhalla to these fucks.  They chatter and gnaw and titter like gossipy wives, dropping names of the well endowed, thick cocked established agencies, hoping for their turn as the gang-bang starlet new on the scene who can do it all and look good doing it.  Did you hear, she got a job with Lexington Steele!    Oh my god, maybe she can put a word in for me...  

I encourage all people who want to buy property to call a Realtor or look in the phone book, and find out when the next classes for a "Real Estate Academy" are being held, and pay the $150 to attend for the one-per-week classes.  Its the best small sum of money you can ever spend in the game of house hunting.  With that newbie knowledge fresh in your mind, albeit inexperienced in actual house sales, it puts a decidedly clear perspective on the game your "agent" is playing for you, and also the person they are probably representing as a selling agent.

In all fairness, I should mention there is paperwork and law they have to familiarize themselves with.  They actually do have to become proficient with the world of real-estate law.  However, while it may be complicated to a certain degree, it is not impossible.  People often say they don't know how to buy a house.  And it is complicated.  But thats what the old-timers in the agency are for, to scope the papers as second-fiddle, and you can run the paperwork past a lawyer (and should consult a lawyer with or without an agent guiding you).  Buying a house without a lawyer is a mistake, they offer general council for a few hundred bucks, title search and all that crap.  Never let the agent be the entire liaison between you and the legal world of property ownership transfer.

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