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Poll

Do you hope your child isnt gay?

YES, but i would love them either way
NO, i dont care if they are more likely to kill themselves

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Author Topic: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?  (Read 9231 times)

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SeriousSplinters

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Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« on: January 19, 2012, 09:10:06 PM »

Do you hope your child isnt gay? These statistics have many saying yes. We love our gay friends and family members, and it may be uncomfortable to tell them something like this. They may take offense to it or even claim that you are "homophobic", yes, the term that is thrown around whenever something perceived as negative about the GLBTC is mentioned. But this has nothing to do with how one feels about homosexuals, and only a heterophobic would think it does. 

 The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force "National Anti-Gay/Lesbian Victimization Report" concludes from its survey: 45% of gay males and 20% of lesbians surveyed reported having experienced verbal harrassment and or physical violence during high school as a result of their sexual orientation.

In a survey of lesbians and gay men in Pennsylvania, 33% of gay men and 34% of lesbians reported suffering physical violence at the hands of a family member as a result of their sexual orientation.

In a psychological study of 484 students at six community colleges conducted by Dr Karen Franklin, 18% of the men interviewed admitted that they had committed physical violence or threats against men and or women they perceived to be gay or lesbian.

Gay statistic studies over the past 7 years have indicated that 25% to 40% of young lesbians and gays have attempted suicide. ("Here For Life" Youth Sexuality Project)

Although homosexuals account for less than two percent of the population. they constitute about a third of child molesters.6 (6. K. Freund and R.I. Watson, "The Proportions of Heterosexual and Homosexual Pedophiles Among Sex Offenders Against Children: An Exploratory Study," )

In 2007 the Los Angeles Times reported the frequency of methamphetamine use is twenty times greater among homosexuals than in the general population

a national survey of female homosexuals was published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology which found that 75 percent of the approximate 2,000 respondents had pursued psychological counseling of some type, many for treatment of long-term depression or sadness

Eighty-four percent of GLBT students report being verbally harassed — name-calling, threats etc. — at school (GLSEN 2003).

Hate crimes against GLBT Americans are on the rise, even as other violent crimes continue to decline (FBI Hate Crimes Statistics 2004)

80% of lesbian, gay and bisexual youth report severe isolation problems. They experience social isolation, emotional isolation and cognitive isolation. (Hetrick. E.S. Martin.A.D., Journal of Homosexuality)

97% of students in public high schools report regularly hearing homophobic remarks from their peers. (Making Schools Safe for Gay and Lesbian Youth: Report of Mass. Governor's Commission)

53% of students report hearing homophobic comments made by school staff. (Making Schools Safe for Gay and Lesbian Youth: Report of Mass. Governor's Commission)

68% of adolescent gay males use alcohol and 44% use other drugs; 83% of lesbians use alcohol and 56% use other drugs. (Hunter. J. Unpublished research by the Columbia University HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies)

In a study of depression and gay youth, researchers found depression strikes homosexual youth four to five times more severely than their non-gay peers. (Making Schools Safe for Gay and Lesbian Youth: Report of Mass. Governor's Commission)

In closing, i ask you to be objective when asking yourselves this question. I also ask that our gay friends not to be offended by this question, as many of us feel it to be important. A yes to this question in NO WAY constitutes homophobia. Thank you for your time.

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John Shaw

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2012, 10:33:43 PM »

Strike one.

Playing dumb and asking stupid questions will be strike two.
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alaric89

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2012, 12:00:20 AM »

A smart parent looks out for depression and destructive behaviour and tries to help them. If I found out one of my kids was gay I might ask a gay friend for advice I guess, but I wouldn't really worry about anything.
 

Turd Ferguson

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2012, 12:06:51 AM »

If I had kids, it would be a non-issue.

I couldn't care less if I tried.
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dalebert

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2012, 12:28:17 AM »

It's like asking people if they wish they were vampires. It makes no difference since you can't control whether your kid is gay.

A lot of the other factors are much more controllable tho. Statistics aren't individuals. Whether any particular kid is more likely to use really harmful drugs or to kill himself will depend on the environment of that particular kid. A supportive environment, particularly the parents, can make the difference as to whether the kid becomes a statistic. Also, progress is happening at a rapid rate. The bad odds now when a child is being born will likely be much better by the time that child is a teen. How much better will depend on us and what we do to make the environment less oppressive and depressing.

SeriousSplinters

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2012, 06:30:06 AM »

I knew that posting this would result in at least one insecure person making an immature response (John Shaw). Not only did he not answer the question, he made a childish threat about "strikes". Id like to thank everyone else who was able to have an adult discussion about this. Especially Dalebert, who made a very informative point. Also, Dalebert HAS had to deal with the stereo types and the bigots, yet he was able to respond like an adult, unlike John Shaw. I'm really happy there was only one of us who wasn't grown up enough to participate in this discussion, but then again, what did we expect from someone who's last post was about "Legos".

I did however have a hard time believing those who said "it wouldn't matter" or "I wouldn't think about it". I would be thinking about it plenty and how it would effect my kid, and what I could do to maybe prevent some things and be supportive. Why would you ignore something that clearly needs to be addressed? I think some were afraid of forum backlash and posted their responses with that in mind. But to those who were able to be honest, thank you.
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alaric89

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2012, 08:00:29 AM »

I would address bullying and depression for any kid. As a matter of fact I have.
My job as a parent is to encourage a productive, happy person. I don't care about things I can not change. Sorry if you don't believe my answer.

SeriousSplinters

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2012, 08:07:34 AM »

I was not referring to you. You clearly stated that you would ask a gay friend for advice, meaning that you would recognize a difference and address it, instead of ignoring it or saying it wouldn't matter like a politically correct nutjob.
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Robin

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2012, 09:18:25 AM »

Sometimes things happen in your life that are more challenging than others. I have a son who had a stroke in utero and he has health issues and needs a LOT of special attention... would I have aborted him, no. Life is a fucking challenge and I would not abort a baby if I knew it was going to be gay, just like I did not abort my amazing son who has some health issues but learns faster than both of my other children and is the most loving child you will ever meet. My son now uses a leg brace and wears an eyepatch for three hours a day, is in physical occupational and speech therapy and you know what HE GOES TO NORMAL SCHOOL WITH NORMAL KIDS. He is strong as fuck and will not take shit from anyone.

I was bullied in middle school and high school because people thought I was gay, glad my parents didn't abort me.
 
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SeriousSplinters

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2012, 09:32:48 AM »

Interesting response, but abortion and HOPING your child isn't gay are very different.
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alaric89

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2012, 02:22:39 PM »

Interesting response, but abortion and HOPING your child isn't gay are very different.
You can hope for anything you want. Probably no practical reason to talk about what you hope for if it isn't something you can control or work towards.
"I hope to win the lottery."
Or how about this: "I hope my child is a genius who supports me in the lap of luxury when he turns 13 and onwards."
A libertarian naturally took it towards abortion, no one here thinks sexual orientation has anything to do with environment, so what else are we supposed to think?
Any libertarian that has kids thinks hoping for some trait is stupid, you get what you get and you deal with it, take the good with the bad. Like that mother with three kids put so well.
Can you tell us what you think someone should do with a child that isn't what one hoped for?

John Shaw

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2012, 02:26:01 PM »

Calls names.

SAY 'WHAT' AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER.

Also accusations of insecurity while snidely slipping in homophobic posts = fail.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2012, 02:28:34 PM by John Shaw »
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SeriousSplinters

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2012, 02:40:52 PM »

Are you 12 years old or something? Grow up!
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John Shaw

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Re: Is it wrong to hope your child isnt gay?
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2012, 02:44:46 PM »

Are you 12 years old or something? Grow up!

Read the updated TOS for this BBS please. You are treading thin ice.

http://bbs.freetalklive.com/general/ftl-bbs-terms-of-service-%28stickied-for-people-who-don%27t-read-before-they-post-%29/

I think he is a stand up guy, but he allows his "buddies" to over moderate and censor the forum. These "buddies" are bias when it comes to this censorship, ian knows this and yet he ignores it.

I too was suprised to see John Shaw become a mod.  :|

This isnt Dales first time censoring and over-moderating.

Starting to think Dale is heterophobic. It might explain his behavior.

Just read this thread. I found it pathetic how joe boner tried to make it about mysoginy, when clearly it had nothing to do with that. Ask yourself joe, WHY do you try to provoke people?

Dale needs to go to mod school. Many are unhappy with his behavior.

I knew that posting this would result in at least one insecure person making an immature response (John Shaw). Not only did he not answer the question, he made a childish threat about "strikes".

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D. Chronic expressions of direct abuse toward another user will not be tolerated. Users are encouraged to debate, argue, and even insult, but repeated harassment will not be tolerated. The determination of the word “Chronic” shall left to the discretion of the moderators.

E. Flamebait and trolling should generally be kept to a minimum. It is a minor offense overall but many violators compounded make the message board a generally more stupid place to be. Egregious and chronic violations will eventually be met with warnings and possible bans. The determination of the words “Egregious” and “Chronic” shall left to the discretion of the moderators.


Seven of your 23 posts have been direct attacks against other users on this board. That's almost 1/3.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2012, 02:50:43 PM by John Shaw »
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